Thursday, August 31, 2006

Fall Preview '06

Some may recall that last year, I ran a Fall Preview post of things I planned to write about on this blog in the '05-06 season. Well, I came through on some, and others never made it to prime time. Life, work, it all gets in the way of blogging sometimes.

So, this year I'll try and follow through on my scheduled lineup:

"Blue Collar Men in Tights": My family's near-obsession with Halloween, particularly notable are the repeated scenes of my father and uncle (and sometimes grandfather) in drag.

"The Pedo-Files": Last year's promised entry about my near-abductions into white slavery as a teen in NYC. Thank god there was no internet, or I wouldn't be here to tell the tales. I'm sure of it.

"Today is So Yesterday" : Why I won't be watching The Today Show anymore. Meredith Viera? Please.

"The Manny Diaries": The story of Arthur, my daughter's "manny" from birth until she was 8 years old. A better caregiver there will never be.

Monday, August 28, 2006

America's Holocaust

I am watching Brian Williams (NBC)'s retrospective on the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, one year ago. I sit here, feeling the way some Germans must feel about the Holocaust. Deeply ashamed that something of this nature could happen in one's own country.

It wasn't the hurricane that caused the devestation. It was the blatant disregard for human life...the human life of poor people who were rounded up like cattle and left to die. For FIVE DAYS. And in a brief glimpse of Williams' interview with Bush, to be aired tomorrow night, we get to see that goddamned smirk in reaction to a sincere question about racism. I don't know about you, but if someone were to suggest that I was a racist, I don't think a smirk would be the facial expression of choice.

We "impeach" a President for getting a blowjob, but we somehow let this slip by? What is wrong with this government?? How can anyone see the footage, look at the photographs, or read any eyewitness accounts of those five days and not feel overwhelming anger and shame?

I've said this since day one: I don't just think Bush should have been impeached. I think he should have been, and should still be, prosecuted.

DISCLAIMER FOR THE LITERALISTS: I am not EQUATING the Katrina aftermath to the actual Holocaust. What I am pointing out is this: Holocaust: Group of human beings deemed less valuable than others, and as a result are killed. Katrina Aftermath: Group of human beings deemed less valuable than others, and as a result are killed. As we say in Brooklyn,"CAPEESH?"

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Have a Fit!

I've been somewhat of a bad blogger. First, I was away for five days. But then, I discovered FitDay. Maybe it's the Virgo in me, but I cannot resist things that require record keeping, or questionnaires, or competition (even when I'm just competing with myself). I've been wanting to get back into shape for quite awhile now, and this site is the PERFECT way for me to do it. I'm tracking everything I eat and every single activity. Check it's really great! (special thanks to my assistant, LJ, for turning me on to it!)

Why now? Well.......... I'm thrilled to say that I've got a wedding to go to in two weeks. Why thrilled? Because I introduced them!!! Anyone remember Nadia? She and I met a few years ago at a party, and then at another party. She's a fantastic singer and was looking for representation, so I hooked her up with my BEST guy-friend, Rich, who is extremely well-connected in the music industry. But in all honesty... I knew he would FLIP over her.

And I was right. (god, I love that phrase)

They're getting married on September 9th in Camden, Maine...such a gorgeous place!

Lucas and I are driving up there for the weekend, but the best part is that I'm going to "perform the ceremony". They will get married prior to the event, but it will appear that I'm actually hitching them.

If only I had been as good at picking husbands for myself... Oh well! (In the greatest irony of all, Rich introduced me to my first husband. But he refuses to take the credit/blame. Hey, I got a great daughter out of it. In fact, Rich has been pretty much the center of my universe since we met in 1977, because he affected most of the pivotal decisions I've made regarding life and work. I'm happy to return the favor.) goal is to get a really hip and cool dress at Anthropologie, and I want to look smokin' hot in it. A regular Justice of the Piece of Ass. (Is that rude?)

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A Story About Wind

We're back from the Windy City, and have a ton of things to catch up on (work, life, bills, blogs) but I would like to share a little story with you. And it's no coincidence that the photo is of Lucas and "The Bean".

On our flight home, we were dismayed to see two women with infants boarding the plane and sitting right near us. I like babies alright, but I always prefer to sit in the "no baby zone" on an airplane. Luke and I gave each other a glance, shrugged our shoulders, and settled in...hoping that the babies wouldn't be much of an issue. Little did we know that seated directly behind me was a 25 year old woman-child who talked INCESSANTLY, the entire flight, to her seatmate, in that annoying volume usually reserved for cellphone users in line at the bank. When I say "incessantly", read: never coming up for air, not for a moment. I was sure I'd turn around to see the other woman bleeding from the ears. Even the occasional screaming baby didn't drown out this chick.

Lucas kept trying to catch her eye, but she refused to allow herself to be distracted for a moment.

Midway through the flight, I attempted to ignore her and do my NY Times Crossword puzzle while my son became more and more agitated by the whole thing. Suddenly, a distinctive odor wafted up my nostrils and I turned to him. "Oh no. Now one of the babies' diapers needs changing! Ugh!!"

He looked back at me and said in a hushed tone, "That's not a baby. That's me. You see, I'm FARTING so she'll have to hold her nose, and then will have to shut up! There's no way she can keep talking while holding her nose!"

Note to 11-year-old boys: Please consult parent before deploying creative schemes that involve noxious fumes.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Blowing into Chicago

...tomorrow through Sunday. Limited, if any, blogging time. I'll miss you all, but the good news is that even though it's a business trip I'm taking Lucas! My sister is meeting us there so they can hang out while I'm at the office. But we'll still have lots of time to play!

Take a peek into the Archives, or at my 100 Things, or pop over to Adventures in Cyberia and see what the Sim-lebrities are up to! And of course, visit my tenant, Laci!

Panthergirl's Pick of the Week: The Secret Life of Bees

Don't just read it, listen to it. It's narrated by award-winning voiceover artist and actress Jenna Lamia, and it is wonderful. I'm a huge fan of the audiobook, downloaded to my ipod and tucked into my waistband as I walk the dog, work around the house, whatever. Then I plug it into my MP3 jack in the car and continue listening as I drive to and from work. The best part, though, is not having to lug a book around!! I do love the smell and feel of a nice hardcover, but I swear...I would never be reading as much as I am now if I couldn't listen.

Next up...Middlesex.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Go Take A Long, Slow, Beautiful Dance... my sidebar and visit my new tenant, Laci!! She has a perky new layout AND she's a cool chick who marathon blogged for charity recently. Go see her! Now! And tell her how you got there. ;)

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Beyond Dick and Jane

Another blogfriend, Kenju, always posts pictures of old things she has kept for years, like postcards and books. I recently mentioned to her that I've kept some old books myself and she asked me to feature them here. So, Judy, in your honor...

Before there was www...ANYTHING, there were encyclopedias. We had your basic Funk & Wagnalls, but we also had "The Book of Knowledge" which we absolutely loved. I have the entire set, and it sits in my son's room where he devours every last obsolete detail.

In the "Dick and Jane" vein, there were "Friends and Neighbors", and "More Friends and Neighbors". These were published in 1942 by some Catholic firm, so most of the stories managed to work in a moral whether we liked it or not. As for me, I liked drawing glasses and mustaches on the people (and, in this case, horses).

As previously noted, my parents liked to take us on long car trips. We had several books for these trips, including one by Dave Garroway, the first host of The Today Show. This Family Fun Book was my personal favorite, though.

"Days and Deeds" was another Catholic propaganda book disguised as entertainment. However, I was shocked to find the story of "The Man Who Kept House", which is basically a tale about a chauvinistic idiot who thinks his wife does nothing until he switches places with her one day. Surprisingly evolved for 1942.

I have several of these, published by Parents' Magazine. They were pretty cheesy but we loved them. I still remember the "My Shadow" poem and will recite it to you someday unless you give me a thousand dollars not to.

So... hope you enjoyed this little trip down Library Lane. And just so you can put these books in context, here's what I looked like around the time I was reading them. (I love the details in this photo...the Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head, the Patty Play-pal doll, the kicked off black pumps in the background. I just received HUNDREDS of jpgs that my Uncle made from his slides, taken from 1959 through 1965 or so...thanks, Uncle Joe, for the blog material! Not that you'll ever know that!!)

Friday, August 11, 2006

Michelle and Michelle

OK, so I am actually awarding the "100,00th Visitor" prize to TWO visitors, since ... oh, it's too complicated. They are going to share the spotlight whether they like it or not. And oddly enough, they are both named Michelle!

First, we have Chele in LA. I'm so happy she's a co-winner because she is a stagehand and I have a special place in my heart for stagehands. She doesn't work on Broadway, though. She works in LA. Still, she's got lots of cool stories about her job, she has a spiffy new template, and she lists me on her rather short blogroll. And she actually spells her name with two L's even though her blog name only has one. I love wacky people like that.

Next, we have Michelle of Occasional Melancholia who revealed herself as visitor number 100,001! She is one of the earliest of my blog-readers, and is still sticking around which I really appreciate. She's a huge Simpsons fan, has three teenagers and can still put a coherent sentance together.

So what will it be, gals? I've got some of this with your name on it!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

We Interrupt this Blog...

Sorry I have not yet posted the winner's honorary post. My son was in a camp bus accident last night (they were hit by a speeding car that was totaled). He is ok, but it was very scary. Thank GOD the kids were wearing seat belts or it would have been tragic.

I'll be back on track tonight.

There might be TWO winners, since someone has identified herself as visitor # 100.001!

Update: The driver of the car was DRUNK, driving while drinking beer. I hope they fry his ass. Lucas is doing ok, although sore in the neck and back. I'm still reeling from the whole fiasco. Not fun to see your kid strapped to a board and loaded into an ambulance... thanks for all the good wishes, and I promise to post my celebratory post soon

Monday, August 07, 2006

Queen for a Day!

Well, she wasn't EXACTLY the 100,000th... but that person surfed in through BE and I couldn't identify him/her (and they didn't stick around very long). So I picked the closest visitor that I *could* identify...and that person is:

Chele in LA (Michelle)!!!

I will be posting her official tribute tomorrow!! For the rest of you, we have some lovely parting gifts. (Not really, I just like saying that). Thanks for playing!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

You Could Be A Winner!!

Sometime in the next day or two, some lucky blog-reader is going to be the 100,000th visitor to The Dog's Breakfast. If it's you, and you're a member of Blog Explosion, I'll award you 50 BE credits and a post dedicated to you and your (hopefully) wonderful blog.! Woo hoo! If you don't belong to BE, I'll still sing the praises of your (please god) extraordinarily entertaining site. If you are not a blogger, but just someone with a lot of time on his/her hands, or just happens to know me in real life, I promise to answer the phone the next time I see your number come up on my Caller ID. And I'll get you some free product from my job. Moisturizer? Laundry Detergent? Shampoo? You name it.
Update: The Site Meter also counts hits on my other blog, Adventures in Cyberia, so go visit that one too!!!

So......... let the games begin!

Friday, August 04, 2006

Photo Friday: Private

A private moment on Cane Garden Bay Beach, Tortola BVI, pre-kids. A simpler life, indeed. Is it wrong to long for it sometimes?

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Happy Birthday MTV!

MTV is 25 today. Man, am I old or what?

As noted in my Factoid #37, a friend of mine designed the now famous logo. He was part of a 3-person, tiny design firm and they beat out huge icons who were fighting for the gig. While walking the streets of the city, he spotted a Mack truck with that big M on the front. That was the inspiration for the M, but the "TV" came from his love for Winky Dink as a kid. (Where you put a plastic screen on the television and drew on it). Defacing the M with the graffiti-like "TV" made the whole thing perfect.

It was a cool place to be at that time...the offices run by brilliant people who were essentially kids. Bob Pittman, the first president of MTV, was only 29 or 30. You just knew that this was something very special...very big.

Suddenly, the business of cutting a record also included making a video. Some artists, like Phil Collins, objected. They felt that the listener should be conjuring up his or her OWN imagery from the music, not locked into the vision of some director. There's a part of me that agrees. But it became inevitable for everyone to jump on the video bandwagon if they wanted to remain commercially viable.

Being married to an art director for CBS Records, and friends with the MTV crowd, I had a very exciting social life at that time. Concerts almost weekly, listening parties at the homes of the artists, seeing the likes of David Bowie walking the hallways at CBS (larger than life, really), attending premiers. It was a blast and although my life couldn't be more different now, I'm glad to have those memories.

Now, about that hair...