Saturday, October 25, 2008

Bob the Hairdresser

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With all of the recent "Joe the Plumber" talk, I felt it was time to edit and re-post my list of people more aptly named for their professions:

Bob the Hairdresser
Jim the Personal Trainer
Bill the Accounts Receivable Mgr.
John the Plumber
Joe the Starbucks Barrister
Tom the Cat Groomer
Taylor the Seamstress
Chuck the Major League Pitcher
Pete the Gardener
Mike the Sound Designer
Jay the Birdwatcher
Sue the Lawyer
Mary the Justice of the Peace
Wanda the Travel Agent
Cosmo the Astronomer
Frank the Hot Dog Vendor
Patty the Short Order Cook
Penny the Coin Collector
Sandy the Lifeguard
Doug the Archaeologist
Jimmy the Burglar
Philip the Gas Station Attendant
Dolly the Mover
Cole the Chimney Sweep
Lily the Florist
Brad the Carpenter
Art the Curator
Mark the Graffiti Artist
Brian the Pickle Maker
Lou the Janitor
Earl the Web Designer (I love that one)
Jack the Auto Mechanic
Hugh the Hair Colorist
Willie the Director of Horror Movies
Laurie the Truck Driver

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Meet the Press Delivers a Colin Blow

Colin Powell's endorsement of Barack Obama was superb. I was SO delighted that he minced no words... about Sarah Palin, about McCain's judgement, about the tone of the attacks against Obama... none of it. If you didn't see it, please take the time to listen.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Not a Master-debate

OK, so the "Town Hall" last night was pretty much of a snooze across the board. The format was horrible, the "rules" were stupid, and nothing much new was said.

My key takeaways?

First of all, McCain, I’M NOT YOUR FRIEND. If he said “my friends” one more time I was going to scream.

Second, McCain knows how to capture Osama Bin Laden but isn’t going to do it, or help do it, unless we elect him President? My, how patriotic.

Third, I almost spit my coffee out (yes, I needed coffee to stay awake during this one, sorry) when he referred to Obama as “That one.” How vile!!! Even for him.

Fouth, the best word for McCain last night was “curmudgeonly”.

Fifth: Obama missed a BIG opportunity with that last question ("What don't you know and how are you going to learn it?"). He could have said, “No President knows everything, which is why I’ve chosen an intelligent, experienced running mate and will continue to surround myself with intelligent, experienced people in my Administration.” Gazingo, Palin.

And last, when I saw McCain refuse to shake Obama's hand…. I was stunned.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Guilt by Association

What the current "guilt by association" tactic of the McCain camp drives home for me is that I could NEVER run for public office. You know why?

- Because I was friends with a girl in HS whose mother worked in a department store, stole credit card numbers and was charged with grand larceny. Her Mafia friends used their "influence" to get the charges dropped.

- Because I used to "pal around" with some shady characters at a local bar, some of whom would chat about their stints in prison (and here I thought "Shanksville" was a town in Pennsylvania).

- Because once, when I was in third grade, I went to a local candy store with a friend and she stole a pack of gum. I didn't report her to the police. I didn't do anything. As such, I silently condoned her behavior.

Now, you might say that anyone who would think that these past indiscretions disqualify me from public office is pretty desperate. Yeah, I think so too.

Enjoy the debate tonight.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Why Palin Matters

If I hear another pundit say "We don't vote for the Vice President" when pooh-poohing the incompetence of Sarah "Don't Confuse Me With the Facts" Palin, I'm going to scream.

Tom Brokaw mentioned Dan "Punchline" Quayle as an example of someone who lost the debate but was part of a winning ticket anyway.

Can someone PLEASE point out the fundamental difference here?

It matters because Palin's running mate is a 72-year-old, not particularly healthy individual which makes the chances of her winding up as President frighteningly real. Are you kidding me?

Thankfully, I think most people in this country (even if they aren't admitting it out loud) are not ok with that scenario. Sure, she didn't come out with any serious one-liners last night (except for the fact that she doesn't know what an Achilles Heel is), she had crib notes. She didn't answer several questions at all, but redirected to the talking points that she had boned up on.

If the Republicans are really so comfortable with her now, let her loose on the media FOR REAL. Have her do an open press conference. Put her on the Sunday morning news show circuit. Get her on The Today Show and let Matt Lauer have at her. As Campbell Brown so beautifully stated, it's sexist not to.

I'd like to be able to ignore her, but the VERY REAL possibility that this person could fake her way into the highest office in the nation scares the bejeezus out of me.


THIS is how you need to see her:

Watch CBS Videos Online

Yes, Sarah. The duck hunting accident was the WORST thing that Dick Cheney did. Uh huh.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

If I Were Moderating the VP Debate... are the questions I'd be asking Sarah Palin:

1. Why do you appear unable to utter the phrase "global warming"? When did this term morph into "climate change"? Doesn't that imply that the earth could be freezing over? (like hell would before I'd vote for you)

2. If life begins at conception, will all American pregnant women be able to claim their zygotes as dependents on their income tax returns, under your (god forbid) administration? If not, why not?

3. How many children have you, personally, adopted? How many of those are non-white, crack-addicted, or the two-headed variety produced via incest? Yeah, I thought not.

4. How do you define "feminist"? I'm having a real problem with that one.

5. You intimated to Charlie Gibson that Barack Obama is probably sorry he didn't pick Hillary Clinton as his running mate. Do you realize, had he done so, that you'd still be an obscure Governor of a state of 250,000 people? Do you honestly think that you're a substitute for Hillary Clinton? "I knew Hillary Clinton, Governor, and believe me.... you're no Hillary Clinton."

Move over, Gwen Ifill...