The Dog's Breakfast

Do the Math

2011-12-11T09:22:00.000-05:00

The terrorists are responsible for the rise in texting while driving. Yes, here's my theory: Since 9/11, we not only have to watch the news but we also have to read a CRAWL of other news at the bottom of the screen. So the message is, it's not ok to do only ONE thing at a time. We read while watching TV, play computer games while we're on the phone, and therefore feel guilty if we're 'just' driving. At the very least, sitting at a red light without doing SOMETHING feels like time wasted. So the next time someone rear ends you while sending a critical "OMG" to her BFF, thank Bin Laden.

Back By Popular Demand - Christmas 1962

2011-12-11T08:35:00.000-05:00

You know, Hollywood really isn't "Tinsel Town". Brooklyn, NY circa 1962 was most definitely Tinsel Town. Not to mention Ugly Slipcover Town, Hideous Lamp Town, and Flocked Wallpaper Town.

Still, I hope you enjoy seeing these old photos, mostly to check out the hot toys of the period. (My sister is holding a Barbie with a blonde bubble hairdo). These were a few of my all time favorites! The "Showboat" by Remco included the characters and scenery for four different plays. My favorite was Heidi, and my friend Andrew, not yet out of the closet at 8 but already a theater buff, always wanted to play "Frauline Rottenmeyer".

Here's a closeup:

Another huge favorite that year was the "Haunted House" by Ideal. All I remember about it was that there were tons of little doors and windows to open, and that it scared the crap out of me. What's not to love? Please note the black and white bowling bag in the background. Bowling-related gifts were big in my house. See the previous post re: the bowling obsession.

And here is my mother, who'd usually venture out of bed at about 10 AM, hours after we had ripped through all the booty.

My father wasn't big into getting up with us at 5AM, but I think he did most of the shopping and definitely made sure he bought stuff that HE would like (note the "Service Station" in the first photo). And when I was about ten, he bought me a HO Slot Car racing set and I honestly remember he and my uncle elbowing us out of the way so they could go head to head with 3" Lotuses and Porches. Whatever!

A Very Tacky Christmas Redux

2011-12-11T08:34:00.000-05:00

Had to bring back this fan favorite, but it's been enhanced for your re-reading pleasure.

Never let it be said that I don't post unattractive photos of myself. This was certainly one from my five-year "awkward phase", but I couldn't resist. (Don't I look like the daughter of Edith Prickley? C'mon... you know I do!)

Christmas, 1960, Brooklyn NY. Click on the photo to see the important details: Fake tree, dripping with tinsel, sitting atop a room fan. Manger, not under the tree (because that spot was reserved for the room fan), but instead topping the Admiral television set (that TV had a record player in the drawer...snazzy!), under the bowling trophies. As mentioned previously, bowling trophies were everywhere in my house...including several on headboard shelves over my parent's bed. Hey, whatever turns you on! Note the Astro-Base, one of my favorite toys. Since I was the third girl, I lucked out and got all the cool "boy" stuff. And notice the game "Finance" which was clearly the bargain-basement version of Monopoly. My parents were the king and queen of Brand X.

In the background is my Aunt Mary, all primped up in what appears to be a dress with petticoat, and conversely there's my Dad, who clearly hasn't shaved for days.

It appears that someone also bought me a coat for Christmas and left the price tag on. That must have been my mother. (Why should Santa get the credit? She paid good money for that coat!)

And speaking of my mother... here's a classic Christmas moment from her: When my eldest sister got married and had kids, my parents would always visit them for the holidays. One year, when my niece (who was probably in her late teens) had opened a gift from my parents, she rose, said "Thanks, Grandma.." and went to give my mother a kiss. Ever the practical one, my mother waved her off and said "We'll all kiss at the end."

(When my father died in 1995, my sister and I sat together at the funeral and in one of those "break the tension" moments I looked at her and said, "We'll all cry at the end.")

The Ghost of Halloweens Past...

2011-10-17T17:16:00.000-04:00

As some of you already know from past blog posts, I *love* Halloween. I thought I'd just post a bunch of Halloween pics from past years, apologies for those you've already seen.

Emma's first costume, a race car built around her stroller so she could "march" in our local Halloween Parade in Brooklyn.

Lucas as Clark Kent:

Lucas as Dexter (of Dexter's Laboratory on Nick)

Lucas as Waldo. I love Ebay.

Me as "Old Spice", the newest Spice Girl, for an office party:

And my all-time favorite photos... Emma as a "wacky travel agent" at age 10, and Lucas... the cutest damned Alfalfa at 10 months old.

In more recent times, we've included Kelso in the fun:

The cop and the convict:

"Greyhound's Anatomy":

Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf Dressed as Grandma:

And in case you think I've lost my mind, consider where I'm coming from. My mother dressed me as the Virgin Mary for Halloween. I wasn't sure whether to ask for candy or a room at the Inn.

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

2011-08-09T15:19:00.002-04:00

I haven't blogged in AGES, but I want to win this so badly and one of the ways I can do this is to promote it here!

SOMEONE I know and love has a birthday coming up, and that someone would love this...

Wicked Witch Ruby Slipper Bookmark Giveaway!

Unreality TV

2011-04-14T16:14:00.000-04:00

With the impending death of All My Children, I just had to repost this with a few updates

Before there was "Reality TV", there were Soap Operas. I confess, I TiVO "All My Children" every day and watch it every night. My sister and I will usually devote at least 15 minutes of our daily phone calls to discussing what happened in Pine Valley that day, as though we were talking about people we actually know.

And in some ways, we do know them. We've been watching since the beginning, and Erica Kane reminds us SO much of our middle, evil sister that we feel completely familiar (and familial) with her.

Soap Opera life has some very distinct advantages, as well as some general oddities that seem to exist in every sudsy town:

- Most people appear to have jobs, but few ever have to show up for work.

- Almost everyone in town works at the hospital. This usually leads to family members treating other family members (when and if those medical professionals actually show up for work). There are no doctor's offices, no pediatrician's offices. Kid gets a cold? Take her to the hospital!

- People frequently commit crimes (trying to kill others, for example) but the police are rarely called. Pine Valley has a Police Chief but he usually lets the would-be murderer go free once he gets the nod from the would-be murderee. (And he just illegally swapped his dead newborn with a box o' baby that was left in a patrol car. Nice one, Jesse.)

- Soap opera people never get colds but they frequently lapse into comas, go blind, get trapped in floods, develop amnesia, get stuck in quicksand and get kidnapped.

- Soap opera houses (even mansions) are never locked. People walk in and out at will.

- Only in soap operas are housekeepers named "Lucretia".

- Soap opera people often fake their own deaths. Generally, if a body is not found, you can be fairly certain to see the "dead" person again once their attempt at non-daytime TV fails.

- Soap opera people never say "goodbye" when they finish a phone call, have only recently started using cellphones and NEVER watch TV unless someone in town just got arrested.

- Pregnant women develop a belly, but don't gain weight anywhere else.

- Soap opera kids should be morbidly obese because moments after entering a room they are always whisked away for cookies or ice cream.

- No one ever has pets.

- People frequently come back to town looking like someone else, after "amazing plastic surgery" which apparently also involves a voice transplant.

- Soaps take "love/hate relationships" to a whole new level.

- One of the aforementioned hospital jobs is apparently "hair and makeup", since comatose women continue to be completely madeup and coiffed.

- Almost everyone winds up finding out they have children they didn't know existed, including the women.

The best soaps are the ones that don't take themselves seriously, which is why I love AMC. My favorite Erica line of all time was years ago, when she was married to and hated Adam Chandler. Adam had been kidnapped and Erica was getting ransom notes. She suggested to her mother that a good way to get rid of Adam would be to refuse to pay the ransom. When her mother looked horrified, a reassuring Erica explained, "But Mother! I'M not going to kill him... the kidnappers are!"

Gotta love it. Gonna miss it.

All in the Family

2011-02-26T09:11:00.000-05:00

Having most of my online time sucked by Facebook and Twitter has meant very little or no blogging for me. Oh, I run a rerun from time to time but haven't taken the time to really WRITE. I'm determined to do more actual writing this year. We'll see.

In the meantime, I'll use this space to shamelessly plug the new blog that my daughter Emma has started. It's a children's book review blog called Short Easy Words like "What About Lunch?".

She really understands what children like, and many of her reviews are/will be written after "test driving" the book during story time at the Scholastic Bookstore in Soho where she works.

If you have kids or know anyone who does, pass it on!

The Best Snowstorm Story I've Got

2011-01-31T20:06:00.000-05:00

When we lived in Brooklyn in the mid 90s, we had two parakeets: Guido and Rudy. Although a parakeet and not a parrot, Rudy could talk and it was pretty hilarious. He'd say things like "Lemme out, goddamit!" and "Beam me up, Scotty!". If one of us had a bad cold we'd suddenly hear Rudy "coughing".

One fateful morning we approached the cage and Rudy was puffed up like a big snowball (this isn't the snow-part of the story. Bear with me.) Below him lay Guido, dead as a doornail. Emma, age 9, was devastated (but at least she didn't have to spend the night with the corpse like Rudy had). She put Guido in a little box, took him out to the backyard of our brownstone and buried him. Then she sent him a postcard, addressed to "Quido, Heaven." (She could never pronouce "Guido". Some Italian SHE is!)

A few months later, Rudy was acting strange. My husband Tony took him out of the cage and instead of flying around, he walked on the kitchen table like someone failing a sobriety test. Seeing his distress, Tony cradled him and the bird died in his hand. Very sad. Emma, of course, wanted to bury Rudy right next to Guido, but this was 1994 and there was about 3 feet of snow in the yard. What to do...what to do...

Tony got some plastic wrap and wound it around the stiff little body of Rudy, and put him in the freezer to keep him preserved. Every time the snow was about to melt, we got slammed with another storm. We knew that Rudy's burial would have to be postponed until Spring.

In May, I found out I was pregnant and we made plans to move from Brooklyn to Connecticut in July, to be closer to my job.

A few weeks after the move, I bolted upright in bed one night and yelled: "RUDY!!!!" Yep...we had moved out of that house leaving a Rudy-sicle in the freezer for the new tenants. After the initial horror, we could not stop laughing. (And now I imagine this is a story another family tells as well!)

Six Weird Things

2011-01-10T15:42:00.000-05:00

A blog post from 2006, pertinent because of #4. I have not collected these in a long time, but now I can add one to the list: Jared Lee Loughner.

My blog buddy Metro Dad posted a meme called "Six Weird Things About Me That I Haven't Blogged About Before". Since I'm pretty uninspired in the writing department these days (work is sucking my brains out), I figured this is an easy one to keep you entertained:

1. I have been struck by lightning.
Yes, I really have been. I was about 22 years old, sitting in my apartment watching an electrical storm. I sat on the window sill with my hip against the metal casement window, and my foot on the radiator. Perfectly grounded. The next thing I knew, it felt like someone had thrown a rock through the window and I did air time across the room. I was shaking and crying and had a nice big burn on my thigh. I know now that I should have been checked out for neurological damage, but I didn't know it then. Being struck can lead to all kinds of things like depression and anxiety, both of which I have. Who knew?

2. I cannot stand beans of any kind.
Can't even be in the same room as a bean. This is really because my father tortured me with them as a child...the classic "eat them cold for breakfast the next morning" scenario. Baked beans, kidney beans, and worst of all...lima beans. Not the green ones, the white "cannelini"variety. The pivotal incident happened when I was about five. That night at dinner he told me that I didn't have to eat my lima beans. I could not believe my good fortune! Too good to be true! Indeed...when it was time for dessert, I got a big bowl of vanilla ice cream -- riddled with my previously discarded beans. I had to eat the entire thing until I gagged. (My mother recently told me that the intention was to get me to like beans by 'disguising' them. Uh huh.) I can barely write this paragraph without vomiting.

3. I am named as Inventor on an International Patent application.
I developed a web-based application for the multi-billion dollar company I work for, at a point in time when the type of work I do was rarely managed by computers, let alone web-based applications. The patent was for a "method of doing business" and I wrote the document myself (our patent attorney didn't understand enough about what the system was). The patent has been pending since 1999, but since other companies have since developed similar systems, we are no longer pursuing it.

4. I collect newspaper clippings about murderers and serial killers whose names contain either "Wayne" or "Lee".
You would not believe how many there are! AND... one extensive study of serial killers was conducted by Wayne State University. You cannot make this stuff up.

5. I never test drive cars before I buy them.
I know, it makes no sense. But at this point in my life it's tradition. (The same rule does not apply to husbands, although I can't say the test-drive has helped me anyway.)

6. I have an irrational fear of bees.
I have never been stung, but I worked as a research assistant one summer to an allergist who was doing a report on bee sting deaths in the US over a 10 year period. No conclusions could be drawn. Some people, like beekeepers, had been stung a million times...then, BAM. Dead. Others had never been stung before. First time, BAM. Dead. Some knew they were allergic and were being treated. Didn't matter. Some dropped dead, some went into anaphylactic shock, one was in a coma for 30 days, one had complete internal hemmhoraging. While other 16 year old girls were working at the supermarket that summer, I was transcribing accounts of doom and gloom and having a recurring nightmare about getting a box of bees in the mail. Twilight Zone, I think.

Happy Birthday, Lucas

2011-01-08T08:25:00.000-05:00

My little guy turns SIXTEEN today. How the heck does that happen? Why, just yesterday (wasn't it yesterday?) my water broke around 1AM on a Sunday morning. Within an hour we were driving from CT to NYC, the Pulp Fiction soundtrack blasting. One of the sometimes amusing and sometimes infuriating things about Lucas' dad was his coffee addiction. He could.not.function.without.coffee. So, for the last month of my pregnancy we had to make a pot every night before bed just in case, because if he didn't have time to make and drink coffee he wouldn't have been able to drive me to the hospital. Or, he would have fallen asleep at the wheel. (This coffee thing was chronicled in this post.) So, while I paced around the house contracting and cursing, he drank his coffee. We woke 9 year old Emma, put her in the car and off we went. Instead of yelling "son of a bitch" with each contraction along the way, I sang "Son of a Preacher Man". It worked just as well.

Lucas was born only 3 hours later. (Don't let anyone tell you that a short labor is better. I did it without drugs, as I had done 10 years earlier for Emma, but it wasn't easy.) Emma was present for all but the final few [intense] minutes, and she even gave him his first bath, right there in the birthing room.

He was a really amazing kid from the start. He walked at 9 months, spoke clearly by 18 months, in full sentances. It was almost creepy, because he never talked 'baby-talk'. No mother-translations were necessary. He imitated people. He told jokes. He learned to use the computer, working the mouse independently, before he turned 2 years old. He read the first Harry Potter book when he was 4. But along with his staggering intelligence came a tortured sensitivity, not terribly different from his dad's. He once told me that he was a "70-year old man in an 8-year old body". Then he lost his father, which gave him more to deal with than any 8 year old should have.

Quirky and interesting, empathetic to the pain and suffering of others (Katrina victims and citizens of Haiti have been on the receiving end of his generosity). Maybe experiencing his own devastating loss has created an understanding that most kids don't have. Still, he has remained a funny and entertaining kid to be around.

Someday, I hope he'll feel like an 8-year old boy in a 70-year old body. In the meantime, he's got a few adventures ahead of him. (Driving, anyone? Yikes!)

And did I mention that it's Elvis' birthday, too?

Why I Became a Feminist

2010-11-28T08:24:00.000-05:00

My annual Thanksgiving weekend blog post!

Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving turned me into a radical feminist. Or, maybe I was born one and Thanksgiving just confirmed my inate belief that women have traditionally been treated (sometimes willingly) as second-class citizens.

Of course it wasn't just this particular holiday that validated my beliefs. Every Sunday, during the eleventy-seven course extravaganza known as "dinner", the same dynamic would be present. But I refused to buy in, even as a little girl.

In this photo, I am seven years old. I'm wearing an apron, as is my grandmother, my mother and my middle sister (for some reason, my eldest sister on the near left either escaped kitchen duty or shed the apron immediately afterwards. (My mother also seems to be either admiring the nasty perm she forced on my stick-straight hair, or she's thinking "You'll wear the apron and you'll LIKE it..."

I didn't mind the prep work all that much. My grandmother always made the macaroni from scratch. (the term "pasta" was never used. It was macaroni, no matter what it looked like.) She'd let us knead the dough and then she'd roll it out and cut the squares of ravioli or strips of lasagna. She'd lay a sheet on her bed, sprinkle it with flour, and place the finished pieces on it to dry. Also placed there were the strips of dough that would never make it to the table...gobbled up raw like so many strings of licorice. We loved the raw dough.

We'd stir the gravy (no, not sauce or tomato sauce...it was gravy), helped roll the meatballs, cut the provolone into little squares for antipasto. We sliced the pepperoni, put the turkey in the oven, rolled up the braciola (pronounced: bra-JOLE) and prepared plates of salad that featured iceberg lettuce, black olives and a red vinegar that came from the wine cellar in our basement. All of that was kind of fun.

The meal was generally a festive event (unlike our daily family meals, which are fodder for another post altogether). Everyone drank homemade Chianti (even the kids, and my mother who would offend everyone by putting orange juice and ice cubes in hers), and stuff themselves with everything from soup to nuts. Quite literally: Minestrone, antipasto, macaroni, meatballs and other meats, followed by salad, turkey, fruit and nuts. My grandfather would entertain us by cracking walnuts on his bald head. Then, percolated coffee accompanied by cake, pastries and cookies that were also sometimes made by my grandmother...particularly the anisette cookies with pignoli nuts. Those were my favorites.

But it was the after-party that infuriated me. The women would begin clearing the table and marching like lemmings back into the kitchen to clean up. Remember, this was before dishwashers and Teflon. We're talking HOURS worth of pot scouring, washing and drying dishes, wrapping leftovers, wiping down counters and tables and collecting linens. The men would do the thing that has spawned cliches to this very day: sit around the living room and watch TV, with their belts and flys open to free their bloated bellies.

By the time I was 7 or 8, I'd take advantage of the commotion and slip away. Thanksgiving would usually take place, as it did here, in my grandparents' apartment upstairs from us in our two-family home. I'd make my way downstairs and in the peace and quiet of my room, or better yet our "finished basement", I'd read the newspaper. When I began to do this on Sundays as well, I'd tiptoe down there and read the Herald-Tribune and my favorite comic strip: Miss Peach (little kids with giant heads).

As an adult, I once dated a guy whose family still functioned this way on holidays. The women cooked, the women cleaned up. The men ate, the men digested. When he suggested that I join the feminine cleanup brigade, I asked if we were going to pick up the plates with our vaginas. He decided to help out, and I was happy to assist him.

A Loss of Innocence - An Annual Repost

2010-09-07T22:26:00.000-04:00

We were never safe. We just thought we were, and it's hard to remember what that felt like. As significant as BC and AD, 9/11 changed everything.

I've always been a morning news person, usually flipping on the TV as I get dressed for work, background music to the routine of my daily life. For some unknown reason, that day I got up, got Lucas and Emma off to school and went to work without turning on the television or even the radio in my car. (Because I work in CT, we had moved from the city to be closer to my job in 1994.)

On the morning of 9/11, as I drove to work, my cellphone rang. It was a friend of mine, telling me that a plane had hit the towers. I started laughing, thinking that he was pulling my leg because of plans we had made to go to Windows on the World in a few weeks. He kept trying to tell me what had happened, and I almost hung up on him. Then, he told me about the Pentagon and my stomach fell. I knew, then, that he was serious. And that we as a nation were in trouble.

I don't remember the rest of the drive to work. I got there and stood in the lobby of our building, watching CNN on the plasma screen TV and seeing the towers fall. I remember one of the marketing managers saying, "We need to kill the fuckers!" We all stood there in shock, not knowing what was really happening, seeing the images of an enormous dust cloud chasing frantic crowds around narrow street corners. We tried to think of people we knew who worked in the towers, or who may have had meetings there that day. Mostly I remember thinking that this was it. That World War III had started and my children would not live to see adulthood.

If you did not live in NYC or the tri-state area at that time, there are memories I can only try to describe to you. In the days that followed the attacks, the weather was almost inappropriately beautiful, and the skies without ANY air traffic left us in an eerily quiet state. Like when the power goes out in your house you realize how loud your refrigerator really is. People were extraordinarily kind to each other. We looked into each others eyes and felt a connection like never before.

Having grown up in the city and spent most of my adult life living in Manhattan and Brooklyn, I had to get down there as soon as I could. I wanted to hug my city. On the Sunday after the attacks, I took the train to Grand Central, with my camera and a notepad to record my experience. As the train made its way to the city, the doors opened at one stop and several menacingly loud "gangsta" guys got on the train and started banging on the doors, seeming to enjoy the fear that they could so easily instill in the passengers whose nerves were already frayed. The rise in adrenalin was plapable. The big bad thing had happened. Now, anything was possible. We got to the city without incident.

I walked from Grand Central Station to Canal Street, which is probably about three miles, taking pictures as I went. There was still a sense of hope, that the moms and dads and brothers and sisters and children on the flyers might somehow be found. But the prevailing sentiment, the most powerful and overwhelming hope, was that our government would not use this event, use our pain and our loss, to start a war.

There were two songs I heard that day as I walked. One was Kate Smith singing "God Bless America" (what this little boy is listening to on a gramophone in Washington Square Park).

The other was John Lennon, pleading that we "Give Peace a Chance."

Here's the video I made. Wish I could say "enjoy". (put your sound on)

These ARE the Good Ol' Days

2010-07-13T11:42:00.000-04:00

Since there's a new variation of the old "Good Old Days" email circulating right now, I thought I'd repost one of my favorite blog posts/rebuttals for your entertainment.

OK, this "Good Ol' Days" thing has been making the email rounds for the past few years, so I like to repeat this post from time to time. It's my personal rebuttal, and I know lots of you don't agree, but hey... that's what makes blogging so much fun, right? The 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s might have been the "good ol' days" for straight white adult men, but that's about it. So here we go, line by line...

“We were born in the 40's,50's,60's,70's.
We survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us."

We survived? How many people born in those decades were born prematurely, and/or at a ridiculously low birth weight? How many now have cancer, asthma, diabetes, eating disorders, alcoholism and a host of other ailments? Yep...let's bring back those good ol' days of smoking and drinking while sporting a big belly full 'o baby.

"They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing and didn't get tested for diabetes."

Yeah! And don't forget the boozing and puffing!

"After that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints."

Which apparently DID cause brain damage, based on the number of people who continue to circulate this thing.

"We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, knee pads, elbow pads, butt pads etc."

You know, my kids' lives have really had the fun sucked out by all this "safety". I mean really. Who was ever hurt by a good skull-cracking, or by downing a bottle or two of Drano?

"As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat."

I especially liked it when we slammed into another car at about 80mph. (no speed limits either!) That feeling of sailing through the air is just something that can't be described, because those who experienced it are DEAD!

"We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this."

And there was something kind of COOL about having the same oozing cold sore as all of your friends!

"We ate cupcakes, bread and butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it (or a brewski in the case of my little cousin Joe here), but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!"

Except when we were at the dentist, or getting whacked upside the head for being “hyperactive”. And as statistics bear out, you're most likely overweight NOW.

"We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on."

In fact, we'd keep track of how many men exposed themselves to us in the course of a day, or try to take us for a ride to shop for a new puppy. Or, we'd get to spend unsupervised "playtime" with our horny older cousins. Poor kids these days have to wait until high school to see someone else's genitals.

"No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K."

See above.

"We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem."

Actually, crashing into an oncoming garbage truck was even better. We were the original "Jackass".

"We did not have Playstations, Nintendos, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no internet or internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!"

Until we grew up and sent this stupid list to everyone in creation on the [horrors] INTERNET!

"We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents."

Newsflash: no one is making money from "accidents". It's negligence that costs you.

"We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live in us forever."

Funny thing, a kid on my block actually DID lose an eye to a stick. But hell, that's why you get two, right?

"We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!"

It was REALLY cool when we walked in and their mom and dad were doin' the wild thing!

"Cheerleaders and little league had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't, had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!"

Yeah. That came in handy when those over-sensitive females or other undesirables wanted to be on the team. And now you have all those fat cheerleaders. What is this world coming to?

"The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!"

This one brings back a particularly heart-warming moment in my own childhood when my father advised us: "Don't ever tell me the nun hit you or I'll give you twice as much." Man, I miss him.

"This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!"

Not to mention psychiatric patients, child molesters, and serial killers.

"The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas."

You mean innovations like the aforementioned personal computers, the internet, child-safety caps and seatbelts?

"We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all! If YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS! You had the good luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers, and the government regulated our lives for our own good."

And if you're one of the unlucky ones who ate lead paint, overdosed on your mother's Valium, or became a paraplegic after being thrown from your father's pickup truck...OH WELL!! At least you had fun!

Puppy Love

2010-06-28T19:28:00.001-04:00

The first post I ever put on my blog about Kelso...Original post date 1/6/05. In honor of his passing this past Saturday night, I thought I would post it again.
--------

Two years ago, I made the decision to adopt a retired racing greyhound. My son's dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I thought that adding a dog to the family might help with the inevitable loss (god, was I nåive). Getting a puppy was out of the question, so I began to investigate various breed rescues. A friend at work told me about his neighbor's greyhound and I went online to do some research. Lo and behold, I came across REGAP of CT, submitted an application requesting a "big, docile male who is good with kids" and within 2 weeks we had our boy.

He arrived with the name Zider Zee (blech) but since racing dogs aren't too attached to their names we changed it to Kelso. This was a little nod to my father, who loved horse racing, as Kelso was a famous horse who ran in the 1970s.

I cannot remember life without Kelso. As I type this, he is sleeping at my feet with his head settled heavily upon my insteps. As with most things I do, not only did I fall in love with Kelso but I became involved with greyhound adoption efforts. Now that we live in Westchester County, NY, I am associated with Greyhound Rescue and Rehab

So...thinking of getting a dog? Please don't buy a pedigreed dog from a breeder (or god forbid a "puppy broker"). Rescue a mutt from the pound, or if you have your heart set on a purebred dog...consider a retired racing greyhound. They are bred as athletes, not for a cute nose or curly tail, and as such have fewer genetic health problems.

Woof.

Run Sally Run!

2010-01-19T07:09:00.000-05:00

My father, Sal, died in 1995, about four months after being diagnosed with lung cancer and having successful surgery with a good prognosis. He, however, was convinced he was dying and managed to will himself a fatal heart attack. My mother was never very good with sick people, including us, exhibiting far more exasperation than empathy. For that reason we felt lucky that she didn't have to nurse him through a long illness, because Florence Nightengale she ain't.

Her complete disconnect from anything emotional didn't take a hiatus on the day of his funeral. You might think that the most shocking moment was when, during the post-cemetary gathering back at her house, she emerged from the back bedroom cheerily holding up a pair of my dad's golf shoes. "WHO'S A SIZE 9??" she called out to the stunned friends and family, some of whom nearly choked on their ziti.

But that was actually NOT the classic moment of the day. That took place at the gravesite, after a solemn ceremony and the lowering of his flag-draped coffin. The funeral director took the flag, folded it gently and gave it to my mother. Everyone rose to walk back to their cars, but instead of following along she ran up to the poor man and said "Do ya take Discover??"

You can't make this stuff up.

Shameless Plug for Greyhound Adoption

2010-01-06T07:02:00.000-05:00

The good news is that a lot of greyhound racing tracks in this country are closing. The bad news is that there are hundreds of wonderful pups that need homes! If you are considering adding a four-legged friend to your household, please think about finding your local greyhound adoption group (I'll be happy to help with this if you need assistance) and check out the wonderful hounds that need you. Here is our group in Northern Westchester, NY: Greyhound Rescue & Rehab where you can see some "adoptables". Foster homes are also needed to provide temporary housing for the dogs that are just coming off the track until they find their "forever home". Because these pups are so lovable, "foster failure" is a common malady. ;)

Here are some Myths vs. Truths about Retired Racing Greyhounds:

MYTH: People who own racing greyhounds just keep them when their racing days are over.
TRUTH: When a racer is retired (anywhere between 18 months and 6 years of age), an adoption group will take the dog and find a home for it. No one knows the exact numbers, but in some parts of the country and at some tracks, dogs are still euthanized when they can no longer race. Thankfully more and more adoption groups are springing up every day.

MYTH: Greyhounds, since they were racers, need a lot of exercise.
TRUTH: Greyhounds, since they are retired, just want to lay on your couch. They don't need any more exercise than an average dog. During their working life they raced (for 30 seconds) every three or four days and slept in a crate for 16-20 hours a day in between. These guys were sprinters, not distance runners.

MYTH: Greyhound are high strung.
TRUTH: HAHAHAHAHAHA. Stop, yer killin' me.

MYTH: Since greyhounds are relatively large, purebred dogs, they must wind up with hip dysplasia and other genetic maladies and have relatively short lifespans.
TRUTH: Racing greyhounds are bred for health and performance, not for looks and "personality". They have a life expectancy of 12-14 years and do not suffer from many of the health issues that other pedigreed dogs have. And they still have great personalities.

MYTH: Greyhounds were abused, so they must be skittish and spooky.
TRUTH: While we don't love greyhound racing, the abusers are in the minority. Practically speaking, you wouldn't abuse something that you are counting on for your livelihood. It would be more accurate to say that in racing, greyhounds are inventory. They are not pets while working, so they need to learn how to be the object of your affection. They are quick learners.

MYTH: Greyhounds cannot live with cats or other small animals.
TRUTH: This is true for some greyhounds, usually the ones who were excellent racers and have a high prey drive. However, many are retired early because they didn't care much about chasing the lure, and go on to live happily in homes with kitties. (My greyhound is not "cat safe", but is fine with small dogs. He seems to understand the difference.)

MYTH: Greyhounds are grey.
TRUTH: "Grey" hounds are actually "blue", and they are the least common color. Greyhounds actually come in 18 different color varieties, black being one of the most common (and for some reason, the hardest to adopt out.)

Other truths you may not know:
Greyhounds don't have a "dog smell".
Many dog-allergic people (like me) can live happily with greyhounds.
Because they are on a strict schedule at the track, many are very easy to housetrain.
They make great apartment dogs. They spend most of their time curled up in a little ball, and most do not bark. (Mine only barks at non-greyhounds. He's a "breedist".)

And maybe the MOST important truth about greyhounds if you are considering adopting:

They can never, ever, EVER be trusted off-leash unless they are completely fenced in. They can see clearly up to 1/2 mile away, and if they spot something of interest (even a blowing paper bag), they will "lock on" and go for it, regardless of oncoming cars, trucks or trains. Oh, and electric fences don't work with greyhounds. If you don't believe me, put the collar on, get in your car and drive through the electric fence at 45mph. You'll be, oh, about a mile away before you feel the shock.

Bottom line: If you want an incredible companion, don't have the time or energy to raise a puppy, and would like what is basically a cat in a dog costume, then a retired racing greyhound may be the pup for you.

Not-So-Famous (but great) Last Words

2009-10-30T12:33:00.001-04:00

Today is the 6th anniversary of the death of my son's dad (lung cancer, age 46). I originally posted this in April 2005. Thought it was a good time to run it again.

Yesterday, in an attempt to clean out the 49.5G that I've used on my laptop, I began opening a lot of files that I haven't looked at in awhile. In some cases, files that I didn't even remember that I had.

One of these turned out to be a written account of the last week of Tony's life. I guess in trying to process everything, I wrote every single detail of that last, grueling week.

After having been sick for 8 months or so, he took a rapid slide during those seven days that surprised even his nurses. Although his life was quickly slipping away, he maintained his sense of humor almost to the very end.

Two days before he passed away, his sisters and Lucas and I were sitting with him at the hospital, having seen him get progressively weaker. At one point, the phone rang. He looked at us and said, "Unless it's the Dalai Lama, I don't want to talk to anyone."

Those were the last words he spoke. Some day, I think my son will get a chuckle out of that.

Dates with Nuts

2009-09-07T16:31:00.001-04:00

Back by popular demand... my online dating missive.

I wasn't a "Match.com" gal. Oh no. I went for the Nerve crowd. On the face of it, much hipper, quirkier, more creative types. And I loved filling out their profile form. (My favorite part: You have to fill in the blanks for "____ is sexy, ______ is sexier." My profile read: "Spooning is sexy, forking is sexier." God, I crack me up.)

As a result, I attracted an "interesting" crop of suitors. Rather than go into elaborate anecdotes about these encounters, I'll just throw out some highlights. If you recognize yourself here you could be responsible for driving a perfectly great catch into permanent hibernation.

- The author of a book on Frisbee-throwing who lamented that his ex-girlfriend just didn't understand his method of loading and unloading the dishwasher.

- The traveling AOL executive who found me online as he surfed Nerve from his hotel room in Sao Paolo. We were scheduled to meet three days later, when he returned from his business trip to his luxurious apartment in NYC. Unfortunately it turns out he was actually an unemployed writer LIVING in Sao Paolo, and did I mention that the hot picture on his profile was really his cousin Carlo from Naples?

- The handsome and fit stockbroker who arrived for our date at least 150 pounds heavier than his picture, wearing a too-small Harley Davidson t-shirt and suit pants. At least he had the decency to explain that he knew I wouldn't be attracted to him but he really wanted to meet me 'cause he thought I seemed cool.

- The severely nerdy copywriter who dropped to his knees when he saw me and said "Thank you, God." (I know it sounds flattering but it was creepy and desperate, especially since he was wearing Bermuda shorts at the time)

- The obsessive-compulsive who dragged me in and out of 12 restaurants until we found the one that was the correct temperature. Apparently he had a perspiration issue. Sexy.

- The seemingly normal art director who called me in the middle of the night thinking it would be really exciting to pretend I was his mommy and that we were hot for each other.

Gee, I had almost forgotten why I gave it up.

If you are considering finding the love of your life online, I have one very simple piece of advice: meet the person RIGHT AWAY. I mean immediately. Tomorrow, or sooner. It is very easy to develop a false sense of intimacy through the ether. And don't forget one very important fact: People Lie. 5'8" means 5'6". 185 lbs. means 250 lbs. Heck, even I lied! I've never forked in my life!

People do find love this way. And I've made some incredible, long-term friends through the web. But as they used to say on Hill Street Blues: "Be careful out there".

August 24, 1985... 24 Years Ago...

2009-08-24T13:19:00.000-04:00

...my little girl was born.

Each year takes me back to the first rumbles of labor, having dinner in Brooklyn Heights at Henry's End with my husband and our friend Charlie. I casually checked my watch and noted that the contractions were regular, but a good 20 minutes apart. We went home, After dinner, at around 11pm, Mark drove Charlie home to Manhattan and I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning, knowing that "this was it". Still, our midwife said it was a good idea to take a bath and have a glass of wine (at 5am!). If this wasn't "it" the contractions would stop. Believe me, it was "it".

A bumpy ride up the West Side highway from Brooklyn to St. Luke's Roosevelt on W. 59th Street is not the most pleasant thing when your uterus is in a vise. But once we got there, the labor was quiet, peaceful and smooth (I kept hearing a woman screaming in the next room, only to be assured by my midwife that I was actually farther along than she was!). With the exception of the crowning of her head (why does the Johnny Cash song "Ring of Fire" come to mind? Hm.), it really was not that bad. Until she was born.

Emma had aspirated meconium into her lungs (if you've gotten this far, I'm assuming you know what that is. If not, look it up. Isn't that what all mothers say?) which led to her being rushed via ambulance to another hospital, one with a NICU, where she remained for a week. Her first APGAR score was a 3. (See "look it up" above). Unlike these days, I was transported there as well and was able to stay with her until she was well enough to come home. I feel very sorry for parents now who have to leave their sick newborns in the hospital alone... I don't know how they do it.

Although she gave us a lot to worry about at birth, she was the easiest baby! She slept ALL THE TIME. And when she wasn't sleeping, she was smiling. She never cried. (She made up for it later, believe me!) She's still happiest when she has slept for 12 hours. Some things really never do change...

This is pretty much indicative of all her baby pictures:

My favorite school picture...

And a modeling job that she did for a store catalog for "Think Big!"

Happy Birthday, sweetheart.

For years, when both of my kids were living at home, our tradition was to eat the same meals on their birthdays that I ate the night before they were born. For Lucas it's chicken fajitas... for Emma, it's soft-shell crab.

I'll get to spend a few days with her later this week and we'll go see "District 9" together. But this morning, as I walked past the Crayola crayon boxes and sticker books at the local pharmacy it took me back to what doesn't seem like so many years ago...

Polkadot Panthergirl

2009-08-02T11:07:00.000-04:00

...circa 1966. Traded the communion dress for this fetching pantsuit, socks and Keds (or were they PF Flyers?).

I was only eleven in this picture, and sometimes put crumpled up balls of looseleaf under my shirt to create the illusion of breasts. (not here, though) In those days, bras were so lumpy that the looseleaf looked pretty "real". Needless to say, I was in a big hurry to grow up.

That summer my mother signed me up for CYO Day Camp (Catholic Youth Organization). Based on my date of birth, I was put into the 10/11 age group. However, I had other ideas.

The very first day, I spotted a boy in the back of the bus who was singing "Satisfaction" at the top of his lungs. He was clearly NOT in the 10/11 group, but he was edgy and dangerous and I immediately ditched my funny glasses and sashayed back there and caught his eye.

We arrived at camp and were greeted by the director: a big, nasty-ass he-woman that I recognized as the gym teacher from hell at my sister's high school. A normal kid would have been terrified. Instead, I decided to doctor the birth date on my bus pass and get myself into the 13/14 group...to be closer to Jagger Junior who instantaneously became my boyfriend.

My mother hadn't yet taken me for my first AAA-cup fitting, so I spent the rest of that summer wearing my bathing suit top under my clothes in the event that he tried to snap my "bra". I said "shit" a lot. The real 13-14 year olds in my group answered every possible question I had about sex. (I imparted all this knowledge to my 9 year old cousin, who immediately lept to the conclusion that he was adopted, because "my parents would NEVER do that!!") Although blind as a bat, I refused to wear my dorky glasses. Priorities, man.

By the end of the summer I was WAY cooler than my yodeling paramour, and even without my glasses I realized he wasn't that hot. I eventually got my AAA-cup bra, about two years before it was completely uncool to wear one.

BlogHer in NYC Next Year!

2009-08-02T10:26:00.003-04:00

Well, if I'm going to show up at BlogHer next year (and I am), I suppose I ought to resurrect this here thang.

I might post a few reruns over the next few days while I decide on a topic for my re-entry into blog land.... I have a few bouncing around in my head: The Air Traveler's Strife, Why I Think People Have Lost Their Minds (yes, all of them), Updated Pet Peeves and Other Daily Annoyances, Songs to Drive By...

My goal will be to post something new at least once a week, in between Facebooking and Twittering and ... oh yeah ... life.

See you (and I do mean SEE YOU) at BlogHer next August.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

2009-06-22T20:44:00.000-04:00

I know I haven't posted in a long time... sorry!! But something happened tonight that is too long for Twitter OR Facebook, so here I am. I'm also posting this on top of another bizarre incident I reported back in '07, so you can see how weird my life is in general.

Last week, I received an email from a company called Camp Meds. They are handling all medications required by campers at my son's (and apparently many others') camp. I'm not crazy about the idea, because you have to pay a $50 handling fee and you really don't know who is doing the handling.

Anyway, to increase my anxiety a little more, the email I got from them was intended for someone else, and attached to it was the personal profile and prescriptions of a camper who is NOT my son, along with a copy of the girls' mother's insurance ID card, phone numbers, etc.

I was horrified. I let them know and they pretty much blew it off as a "mistake". On Friday I decided to call the mother in Seattle to let her know what had happened.

She called me back today. We talked for awhile, she gave me her email address so I could forward the email to her, and then she said "You live in Westchester, right?" (she knew from my area code). I said yes, and she said she used to live in NY, but on Long Island. I asked her where on Long Island and when she told me the town, I said that my son's dad came from there. She initially thought he had MY last name and said that she didn't know the family, but when I said HIS last name she said, "Oh I knew them! I used to hang out at their house! Tony used to buy us liquor... I went to high school with Cindy..." She knew the whole damned bunch.

I still cannot believe it. And I thought the story below was the weirdest thing that ever happened to me...

--------

Pay close attention to all the details, for each one is critical to how this story plays out.

I normally leave my house at about 7AM and get to work at 7:30. This morning, because I was watching the news from Minneapolis, I left at 7:50. No biggie, except I knew there was a big management meeting/announcement taking place at 8:30 and I wanted to be sure to get there on time for that.

Since I pulled into the parking garage at 8:25, I went straight to the meeting instead of dropping my things off in my office first.

Most people had settled into their seats already, but I found one open chair next to my boss. I had to climb over a bunch of people to get to it, but I did it.

After the meeting was over, the 200 or so attendees filed slowly out. A woman walking next to me noticed my little shopping bag from a jewelry store in a town near mine. "I love that store!" she exclaimed. "Me too," I replied.

Then she said, "I used to shop there because I lived in V--- (my teeny town)". "I live in V---" now", I replied. "Oh, do you live in the O--- Condos?" "Er... yeah", I said...now getting a little creeped out. "Where in O---- do you live?" she asked. I told her my street name. She looked pale. "I lived on that street too...what number?"
"173", I said. "I lived at 172", she replied. By this time, both of our jaws had to be scraped off the floor.

Now, I tell you... what are the chances?? Like I said, normally I would have arrived at work early enough to drop my little shopping bag in my office. I could have sat ANYWHERE in that room of over 200 people. I've been sick all week, so chances were good I wouldn't even have been at work today.

I'm buying a lottery ticket. Seriously.

Take Our Daughters to Work Day

2009-04-23T09:13:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I received a memo at work reminding me to register my kid for "Take Our Children to Work Day." I thought it was a good time to rerun my blogpost from April 2006 on this topic, which is a real ho-button issue for me:

Take Out DAUGHTERS to Work Day.

That's what it was designed to be. Our daughters. To work. Now, it appears that the Ms. Foundation has caved to pressure from people who normally despise "political correctness" and changed the day to "Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day". I'm really disappointed in them.

The day was created so that girls, traditionally not exposed to lots of career options, could see what women do in jobs outside the home. Sure, more women work now than ever before, but educating our daughters about the realities of the workplace, including inequities in salaries and the "glass ceiling" is important. Boys have always been exposed to men in the workplace. Have you ever seen a magazine called "Working Dad"? Of course not. Sounds silly, doesn't it? Then why do we need this:

I find it so interesting that the people who complained about TODTWD as being "sexist" because it excluded boys are the same people who couldn't care less about ACTUAL sexism, in the workplace or otherwise. These are the same people who complain about "Black History Month" as being "racist". No, you see...every OTHER month is "White History Month". That's the difference.

It's a shame that TODTWD has been watered down, and I intend to write to the Ms. Foundation to express my displeasure. If they wanted to add boys to to mix, they should suggest keeping boys at home with their stay-at-home moms or dads, to show them THAT option, and what's involved with it. After all, that should be a choice for boys as well.

South African Adventure!

2009-03-27T06:31:00.004-04:00

Just got back from ten days in South Africa. It was a business trip to Durban, but I also managed to get a few days in Cape Town and an overnight in a game reserve (Phinda) which was completely amazing.

We got so close to this male lion that it was literally terrifying. He was just sitting there, very quietly, but then got up and walked toward our (open) vehicle. He walked right along side the jeep (next to me), close enough that I could have touched him. I could not BREATHE. But he just looked up and kept on truckin'.

We saw tons of game, as well as amazing birds, bugs and snakes! The lodge was gorgeous and had an outdoor shower. But I didn't enjoy my shower so much as there were monkeys in the trees hooting and hollering at me so I ran indoors like the sissy New Yorker that I am.

Here are some great images from the trip. Some of these were taken by my colleague who brought a better camera, so I can't take credit for all of them...

The people of SA are truly amazing. Sometimes you go places where people seem very friendly but you know the second you turn your back they are making funny faces at you. (or am I just paranoid?) Here, everything that people say and do is so incredibly genuine. Even when service at the hotels or restaurants is a little kooky (serving 7 dinners to 8 people and not quite understanding why one person, me, is sitting there with no food?) they are so adorable about it you can hardly get pissed off.

Prices were so good that I ended up buying a backpack to carry the clothes I bought! Of course, had I paid the almost $10K in airfare that it took to get me there, it might not have been worth the couple of hundred dollars I saved. :) But that's the joy of traveling on business! Not to mention the frequent flyer miles...

One of the best parts of the trip, though, was the domestic flight from Durban to Cape Town on my way home. The flight attendant who was delivering the safety information was hilarious. First, when explaining the usage of the life preserver, he suggested that we tie the ribbons around our waist as opposed to our neck. Then he pointed out the light "for shining into the sharks' eyes". And lastly, he told us this was a non-smoking flight and that there are "smoke detectors and video cameras" in the restrooms. LOL

It was a great way to see who was actually paying attention!

Next stop... Istanbul in May.

Vote for Tiger!!

2009-03-06T16:34:00.001-05:00

And help him win money for Greyhound Rescue and Rehab:

Vote for Tiger!

Cyber ADD - Has Microblogging Killed the Blog?

2009-03-05T07:34:00.003-05:00

Facebook, Twitter... almost all of the people I've "met" online through blogging are now status-updating and twittering. 140 characters, a 2-second flash of what's happening in that moment. Instant blogging... just add words.

It's fun, I'm doing it too, but I'm also a little sad because this takes short attention spans to a whole new level. I used to blog pretty frequently, posting photos and writing little missives about everything from my crazy family to politics to pop culture. But little by little, I began to feel as though if I wrote more than a few paragraphs that even my loyal readers would read the first and last sentence and leave a comment.

For awhile, I thought I was being overly sensitive about this. But recently one of my favorite blog friends, Jamie of Kill the Goat wrote a post about infidelity. It was a plea for help about how and if to tell, about her inner struggle. If you actually read the whole thing, it was really an hilarious account of switching hairdressers. But a majority of the comments were about not telling her husband, or coming clean, or the evils of cheating on one's spouse.

If you're still with me, I'll keep going. In the first two years or so of blogging, I used to drive to work in the morning and think about things I wanted to write about. I'd keep little notes to myself when I thought of a good topic. I tried to make time every morning or late at night to write. I loved getting the instant feedback and the whole process in general. I felt as though I had my own newspaper column, but without the deadline.

I miss it. I've been extremely busy with work so I will admit that I've dropped the ball as well. But when I have thought about writing something, I often stop myself and just post the 140 word version on Twitter.

It's just not the same. :(

Separated at Birth?

2009-01-29T19:31:00.003-05:00

Carla from Top Chef:

and

Beaker

Goodbye, Mr. Bush

2009-01-17T18:29:00.002-05:00

And don't let the White House gate hit you in the ass on your way out.

I am so excited about the next few days, the next 8 years... I could just burst. I am going to be doing a lot of traveling around the world on business this year, to London and Durban and Istanbul, and it is so nice to feel like I don't have to be ashamed of our government and most of all, our President.

Here's a little ditty to send Bush on his way:

"So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, adieu
You'd better go
Or I will throw my shoe.."

Yodel-a-e-oooooo

2008-12-05T10:57:00.003-05:00

Well, as my international blogger friends like to say, "one more sleep" until I leave for Switzerland tomorrow. I still have so much to do (to prepare not just for the work part, but also to get everything in place for those who will be helping take care of Lucas while I'm gone.)

I'm a little anxious (10 days is a LONG time to be away from my loved ones!) but also excited about the adventure and the presentation I'll be giving. I know this stuff like the back of my hand, so it's really fun to be able to show that off.)

I'll hopefully have some internet access and time to post from time to time. In the meantime, keep shopping on Amazon!!

|
|
|
|
v

Happy Prepare-for-the-Christmas-Madness Eve

2008-11-26T19:14:00.001-05:00

If you're going to shop via Amazon again this year, please do it through the links on my blog if you can!! Lots of vet bills again this year, and every little bit helps.

What have I been doing lately? READING MY KINDLE!!! I absolutely love it. Buy one for someone you love...

Amazon.com Widgets

And Happy Turkey Day!

Panthergirl - International Woman of Mystery

2008-11-21T07:41:00.003-05:00

Oh, I've been such a bad blogger this year. Between work, home and Facebook... I've just neglected my poor blog. Hope to turn that around soon.

But for now, I need the help of my traveling and international blog readers. I'm off to Switzerland from 12/6 to 12/16 on business. I am staying in FOUR different hotels (one night when I arrive, the Lady's First Design Hotel. Then on Monday I head up by cable car to the Rigi Hostellerie for my meeting in the mountains. Then, on the 12th, I head back down to center city to stay at the Ema House until Monday the 15th when I will move again but to a hotel near the Zurich airport (unspecified at this time) for one last meeting before I head home on the 16th.

WHEW!!!

What I need from you guys are ideas of things to do from Friday the 12th through Sunday the 14th, while I have down-time in Zurich. I'd like to take a little side trip to Lucerne, but am also open to ideas of things to do and see.

I'm going to try and learn a little more German than I already know (otherwise I'll be getting nothing but pens, pencils and kisses the whole time I'm there, in quantities from one to ten.)

Mit freundlichen Grüssen ,
PG

Update: I'm going to spend the second weekend in Lucerne... hotel still undecided... all recommendations are welcome! I'm leaning towards "The Hotel", although one called "Hotel Krone" looks interesting too, but saw varied reviews on that one.

A President We Can Be Proud Of

2008-11-05T06:09:00.002-05:00

What can I say? Last night was more emotional for me than I had ever thought it would be. I knew I would be ecstatic to see Barack Obama become our next President, but I didn't realize how deeply moving it would be to witness. John McCain appeared to have recovered his marbles and delivered a gracious and beautiful concession speech. We didn't have to listen to Sarah Palin. And Barack's acceptance address just shook me to the core.

We are realists... we know that he is going to have a steep pile of crap to shovel us out of (thanks, Dubya). But if you didn't feel a collective raising of the country's spirit last night then you have to be dead inside. Even Sean Hannity admitted that his hotel REVERBERATED at the announcement of Barack's win.

The country is smiling this morning. The world is smiling this morning. And we can finally stop cringing when our President represents us to that world.

President Obama. Pinch me.

Bob the Hairdresser

2008-10-25T08:02:00.002-04:00

With all of the recent "Joe the Plumber" talk, I felt it was time to edit and re-post my list of people more aptly named for their professions:

Bob the Hairdresser
Jim the Personal Trainer
Bill the Accounts Receivable Mgr.
John the Plumber
Joe the Starbucks Barrister
Tom the Cat Groomer
Taylor the Seamstress
Chuck the Major League Pitcher
Pete the Gardener
Mike the Sound Designer
Jay the Birdwatcher
Sue the Lawyer
Mary the Justice of the Peace
Wanda the Travel Agent
Cosmo the Astronomer
Frank the Hot Dog Vendor
Patty the Short Order Cook
Penny the Coin Collector
Sandy the Lifeguard
Doug the Archaeologist
Jimmy the Burglar
Philip the Gas Station Attendant
Dolly the Mover
Cole the Chimney Sweep
Lily the Florist
Brad the Carpenter
Art the Curator
Mark the Graffiti Artist
Brian the Pickle Maker
Lou the Janitor
Earl the Web Designer (I love that one)
Jack the Auto Mechanic
Hugh the Hair Colorist
Willie the Director of Horror Movies
Laurie the Truck Driver

Meet the Press Delivers a Colin Blow

2008-10-19T19:33:00.003-04:00

Colin Powell's endorsement of Barack Obama was superb. I was SO delighted that he minced no words... about Sarah Palin, about McCain's judgement, about the tone of the attacks against Obama... none of it. If you didn't see it, please take the time to listen.

Not a Master-debate

2008-10-08T17:38:00.003-04:00

OK, so the "Town Hall" last night was pretty much of a snooze across the board. The format was horrible, the "rules" were stupid, and nothing much new was said.

My key takeaways?

First of all, McCain, I’M NOT YOUR FRIEND. If he said “my friends” one more time I was going to scream.

Second, McCain knows how to capture Osama Bin Laden but isn’t going to do it, or help do it, unless we elect him President? My, how patriotic.

Third, I almost spit my coffee out (yes, I needed coffee to stay awake during this one, sorry) when he referred to Obama as “That one.” How vile!!! Even for him.

Fouth, the best word for McCain last night was “curmudgeonly”.

Fifth: Obama missed a BIG opportunity with that last question ("What don't you know and how are you going to learn it?"). He could have said, “No President knows everything, which is why I’ve chosen an intelligent, experienced running mate and will continue to surround myself with intelligent, experienced people in my Administration.” Gazingo, Palin.

And last, when I saw McCain refuse to shake Obama's hand…. I was stunned.

Guilt by Association

2008-10-07T07:13:00.003-04:00

What the current "guilt by association" tactic of the McCain camp drives home for me is that I could NEVER run for public office. You know why?

- Because I was friends with a girl in HS whose mother worked in a department store, stole credit card numbers and was charged with grand larceny. Her Mafia friends used their "influence" to get the charges dropped.

- Because I used to "pal around" with some shady characters at a local bar, some of whom would chat about their stints in prison (and here I thought "Shanksville" was a town in Pennsylvania).

- Because once, when I was in third grade, I went to a local candy store with a friend and she stole a pack of gum. I didn't report her to the police. I didn't do anything. As such, I silently condoned her behavior.

Now, you might say that anyone who would think that these past indiscretions disqualify me from public office is pretty desperate. Yeah, I think so too.

Enjoy the debate tonight.

Why Palin Matters

2008-10-03T07:47:00.004-04:00

If I hear another pundit say "We don't vote for the Vice President" when pooh-poohing the incompetence of Sarah "Don't Confuse Me With the Facts" Palin, I'm going to scream.

Tom Brokaw mentioned Dan "Punchline" Quayle as an example of someone who lost the debate but was part of a winning ticket anyway.

Can someone PLEASE point out the fundamental difference here?

It matters because Palin's running mate is a 72-year-old, not particularly healthy individual which makes the chances of her winding up as President frighteningly real. Are you kidding me?

Thankfully, I think most people in this country (even if they aren't admitting it out loud) are not ok with that scenario. Sure, she didn't come out with any serious one-liners last night (except for the fact that she doesn't know what an Achilles Heel is), she had crib notes. She didn't answer several questions at all, but redirected to the talking points that she had boned up on.

If the Republicans are really so comfortable with her now, let her loose on the media FOR REAL. Have her do an open press conference. Put her on the Sunday morning news show circuit. Get her on The Today Show and let Matt Lauer have at her. As Campbell Brown so beautifully stated, it's sexist not to.

I'd like to be able to ignore her, but the VERY REAL possibility that this person could fake her way into the highest office in the nation scares the bejeezus out of me.

Unscripted

2008-10-03T07:04:00.000-04:00

THIS is how you need to see her:

Watch CBS Videos Online

Yes, Sarah. The duck hunting accident was the WORST thing that Dick Cheney did. Uh huh.

If I Were Moderating the VP Debate...

2008-10-02T18:38:00.002-04:00

...here are the questions I'd be asking Sarah Palin:

1. Why do you appear unable to utter the phrase "global warming"? When did this term morph into "climate change"? Doesn't that imply that the earth could be freezing over? (like hell would before I'd vote for you)

2. If life begins at conception, will all American pregnant women be able to claim their zygotes as dependents on their income tax returns, under your (god forbid) administration? If not, why not?

3. How many children have you, personally, adopted? How many of those are non-white, crack-addicted, or the two-headed variety produced via incest? Yeah, I thought not.

4. How do you define "feminist"? I'm having a real problem with that one.

5. You intimated to Charlie Gibson that Barack Obama is probably sorry he didn't pick Hillary Clinton as his running mate. Do you realize, had he done so, that you'd still be an obscure Governor of a state of 250,000 people? Do you honestly think that you're a substitute for Hillary Clinton? "I knew Hillary Clinton, Governor, and believe me.... you're no Hillary Clinton."

Move over, Gwen Ifill...

R.I.P. Paul Newman

2008-09-27T10:50:00.003-04:00

The very first man I had a major crush on....

I used to make out with my pillow and pretend it was him in "Hud". Hey, I was only about 10... give me a break! (my sister used to make out with the mirror...THAT was telling!)

What Would Sarah Palin Name YOU?

2008-09-18T07:30:00.002-04:00

Find out here with the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator! Mine would be "Shove Maggot". Nice, eh?

Well, when your mother names you after the math class she probably failed* ("Trig"), you gotta wonder. Then again, the Little Rascals had a mule named "Algebra".

*See, "Alaska produces nearly 20 percent of the U.S. domestic supply of energy." Yeah, 3.5% is "nearly" 20%...

Biggest Political Rally in Alaskan History ...

2008-09-15T10:42:00.004-04:00

From Mudflats:

"‘Alaska Women Reject Palin’ Rally is HUGE!

I attended the Welcome Home rally for Sarah Palin this morning. Hooo. It was an experience. About a thousand (maybe) hard-core Palin supporters showed up to hear her speak at the new Dena’ina Convention Center in downtown Anchorage.

After shaking it off with a good double shot of espresso, and a brisk walk back to my car, it was time to head to the Alaska Women Reject Palin rally. It was to be held outside on the lawn in front of the Loussac Library in midtown Anchorage. Home made signs were encouraged, and the idea was to make a statement that Sarah Palin does not speak for all Alaska women, or men. I had no idea what to expect.

The rally was organized by a small group of women, talking over coffee. It made me wonder what other things have started with small groups of women talking over coffee. It’s probably an impressive list. These women hatched the plan, printed up flyers, posted them around town, and sent notices to local media outlets. One of those media outlets was KBYR radio, home of Eddie Burke, a long-time uber-conservative Anchorage talk show host. Turns out that Eddie Burke not only announced the rally, but called the people who planned to attend the rally “a bunch of socialist baby-killing maggots”, and read the home phone numbers of the organizers aloud over the air, urging listeners to call and tell them what they thought. The women, of course, received many nasty, harassing and threatening messages.

So, as I jettisoned myself from the jaws of the ‘Drill Baby Drill’ crowd and toward the mystery rally at the library, I felt a bit apprehensive. I’d been disappointed before by the turnout at other rallies. Basically, in Anchorage, if you can get 25 people to show up at an event, it’s a success. So, I thought to myself, if we can actually get 100 people there that aren’t sent by Eddie Burke, we’ll be doing good. A real statement will have been made. I confess, I still had a mental image of 15 demonstrators surrounded by hundreds of menacing “socialist baby-killing maggot” haters.

It’s a good thing I wasn’t tailgating when I saw the crowd in front of the library or I would have ended up in somebody’s trunk. When I got there, about 20 minutes early, the line of sign wavers stretched the full length of the library grounds, along the edge of the road, 6 or 7 people deep! I could hardly find a place to park. I nabbed one of the last spots in the library lot, and as I got out of the car and started walking, people seemed to join in from every direction, carrying signs.

Never, have I seen anything like it in my 17 and a half years living in Anchorage. The organizers had someone walk the rally with a counter, and they clicked off well over 1400 people (not including the 90 counter-demonstrators). This was the biggest political rally ever, in the history of the state. I was absolutely stunned. The second most amazing thing is how many people honked and gave the thumbs up as they drove by. And even those that didn’t honk looked wide-eyed and awe-struck at the huge crowd that was growing by the minute. This just doesn’t happen here.

Then, the infamous Eddie Burke showed up. He tried to talk to the media, and was instantly surrounded by a group of 20 people who started shouting O-BA-MA so loud he couldn’t be heard. Then passing cars started honking in a rhythmic pattern of 3, like the Obama chant, while the crowd cheered, hooted and waved their signs high.

So, if you’ve been doing the math… Yes. The Alaska Women Reject Palin rally was significantly bigger than Palin’s rally that got all the national media coverage! So take heart, sit back, and enjoy the photo gallery. Feel free to spread the pictures around (links are appreciated) to anyone who needs to know that Sarah Palin most definitely does not speak for all Alaskans. The citizens of Alaska, who know her best, have things to say."

Blind Dating, Italian Style

2008-09-13T07:44:00.000-04:00

For Photo Friday: Relationships, an appropriate rerun:

One of the reasons I am so puzzled by my mother, who can be seemingly soulless, is because her parents were incredibly soulful. They were sweet and funny and extremely loving, and since they lived upstairs when I was a chld, I credit them with teaching me everything I know about being a good person.

My grandfather had a particulary interesting sense of humor. In February of 1907, he wrote a letter to a woman he knew in Italy. He had come to the US ten years earlier on the SS Barbarosa (I like to think of it as the SS Vinnie Barbarino), and was ready to get himself a wife. So, he wrote this letter asking the woman to send him one of her daughters. I don't think he was very much more specific than that. He sent a picture of himself, a handsome 21 year-old man with a full head of red hair. My grandmother (all of 17 years old), selflessly offered herself up as she knew that her mother was struggling to feed all of her children, and that making this sacrifice would help ease the burden. She did this knowing, too, that she might never see her family again.

She boarded the SS Patria on February 5th, traveling "steerage" which meant packed like sardines in the lower quarters of the ship, and arrived at Ellis Island after sixteen grueling days at sea.

After the immigration process, she was taken to the Bushwick section of Brooklyn to live briefly with a cousin. There, she met the man she was going to marry. The only problem? The picture he had sent was a little, er, outdated. He was, in fact, 31 years old, fat and bald. According to my grandmother (in her adorable little accent that she never lost) "I cry for a year!"

Probably due to the extremely reduced expectations that people of that generation had for happiness, they remained married for over 60 years. In all of that time, much of which was spent on the 2nd floor of our house, I remember them having only one fight... and that was a dispute over what the weatherman had predicted for that day.

She was a feminist before her time (even cutting her hair when she arrived in America and not piercing her daughters' ears. She refused to be bound by old-world traditions). He was the "mayor" of our block, playing with all the kids and tossing lit firecrackers at their feet while yelling "Dance-a! Dance-a!"

And so, I say "Salud" to Sal and Lucy.

Coming Together for Nie Nie

2008-09-09T07:38:00.005-04:00

If you have not seen or heard the story of the woman behind The Nie Nie Dialogues, please click on the link to her blog. She is a popular blogger who, along with her husband, was in a plane crash and both suffered severe burns and remain in critical condition. Her blog readers have come together and raised over $100,000 to help them (and their four young children).

This story touched me in particular because of my own online experience with a community of women coming together to help the family of a women we "met" on a message board WAY back in 1996. I posted about this awhile ago, but thought I'd repost it today. Anyone who thinks that there is no such thing as the kindness of strangers really needs to read this, and read the story of Nie Nie as well:

I first went online (via AOL) in 1994 when I was pregnant with my son. At that time, AOL was more of a content site than an access site, and was filled with message boards on every imaginable topic. Since I was pregnant, I gravitated to boards about that and childbirth, and continued to read and contribute to them while my son grew. One board I read from time to time was the Infertility board, only because I was interested in the process of IVF (as opposed to the process of "ah crap! forgot to use my diaphragm!").

There was a woman who posted on that board named Heather. She was 28, and she and her husband had been trying to get pregnant for eight years. She had lots of fibroid tumors but had finally been able to have successful surgery to remove them all and was thrilled to be pregnant. Because of the unusual nature of her surgery, Dr. Max Gomez did a story about her on the local NYC evening news, complete with the happy ending...she was going to have a baby.

We all followed Heather's progress on the board...she was SO exuberant and couldn't wait to have this baby. Finally, her husband posted that she was in labor and that he would come back to report everything. And then, nothing. A day passed, two days passed...nothing. One of the women from the board ultimately posted that Heather had a baby girl via C-section, but had hemhorraghed seriously and was in a coma. Eight days later, she passed away. We were all devestated...some of us had successfully given birth already (my son was a year old), but some were still pregnant and terrified.

As a group, we tried to think of things we could do for her husband and family. We decided to hold a "memorial service" for her online, in a chatroom. We figured we could get about 50 women to show up. I knew that some of the women were "crafty" (not me) and came up with the idea of each woman creating a piece of artwork in a 6x6 square that the crafty women could turn into quilt pieces. Then, they would assemble all the squares and we'd send the quilt to Heather's daughter.

I remembered that Max Gomez had interviewed Heather and thought he would want to know that she had passed away. He was shocked and saddened when I called with the news. Then, I told him about what we were going to do for her daughter. In 1996, online relationships were not as common as they are today. I knew that what we were planning was pretty amazing...50 women coming together to support the family of a person they had never met.

He asked if he and a camera crew could come to my house and film the online memorial as it took place. Since he was going to interview Heather's husband a few days later, I offered to send along a few of Lucas' things that he had outgrown. The news piece aired and CNN even did a short segment on it.

As with most of my stories, this one has an amazing ending. Heather's husband called to thank me and stayed in touch via email. When he received the completed quilt, he sent pictures of his little girl hugging it. He became very involved with a national infertility group and, when I last heard from him, had married the woman who heads the organization. His little girl had lost her mother, but gained a new blended family with a stepmom and three siblings who love her.

What's that saying about doors and windows?

The Back Paw Doesn't Know What the Front Paw is Doing

2008-09-08T15:34:00.000-04:00

Insert Jeopardy "Think Music" here...

2008-09-07T16:04:00.001-04:00

Bizarro World

2008-09-06T09:17:00.001-04:00

Many thanks to blogfriend April for directing me to this.

I love Jon Stewart.

Pit Bulls and Pinheads

2008-09-05T07:52:00.005-04:00

From Bill O'Reilly's "Talking Points", December 20th 2007:

"On the pinhead front, 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. The sister of Britney says she is shocked. I bet.

Now most teens are pinheads in some ways. But here the blame falls primarily on the parents of the girl, who obviously have little control over her or even over Britney Spears. Look at the way she behaves.

And by the way, the mother, Lynne Spears, has reportedly already sold pictures of the upcoming baby of her 16-year-old for a million bucks. Incredible pinhead."

Have we heard the Pinhead Report on the Palin family yet?

And speaking of flip-flops, when did the Republicans become such "feminists"? I've never heard the word "sexist" come out of a conservative's mouth before, but suddenly they're quite concerned with the concept.

When Hillary Clinton was the woman in the spotlight, her aggressive persona was lambasted to the point where the righties were proclaiming that she was a lesbian.

Now, a woman who compares herself to a breed of dog that has been known to kill children (which is how the same statement made by Hillary would have been spun, as well as the multitude of "bitch" jokes that would have abounded) is revered by these hypocrites.

We should all be highly insulted by her snide comments about Obama as a community organizer. Aside from the fact that he has done FAR MORE than she since he was a CO (and she was in the PTA), belittling the work done by these grass-roots people across the nation is disgusting.

I'm looking forward to the end of this week and the beginning of the real conversations, hard questions and most of all the debates.

The idea of these two, McCain and Palin, running this country is horrifying to me. I have never been so motivated to donate money, to get the vote out, to do fundraising and to do whatever else I can to make sure that does not happen. If you feel the same way, go to My Barack Obama, register and find events in your area that you can participate in. This is not the time to sit on the sidelines.

By the way, what do you get when you cross a pinhead with a pit bull?

Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder...and the Belly Larger

2008-09-02T13:13:00.002-04:00

From the Chicago Tribune:

"Palin addressed teen pregnancy prevention in her 2006 run for governor, indicating on a questionnaire that she favored abstinence-until-marriage education over explicit sex education programs, school-based clinics and condom distribution in schools. The high school that Bristol Palin attended for part of last year, Wasilla High School, teaches abstinence in health class, its principal said."

I think all of this is just the tip of the Alaskan iceberg, and I can't wait for the rest of it to surface. McCain is a maverick, alright. And this should be a good indication of how he goes about making incredibly important decisions. He would have been better off throwing a dart.

I'm totally enjoying the conservative spin on all of this... "It happens in all families" (yes, I heard a delegate say that), "How wonderful that she's not having an abortion!" (and isn't it great that she has a CHOICE in that matter, people??). I've yet to hear the rationalization for this mother of 5 holding down a more-than-fulltime job and letting "strangers" raise her kids. I've spent enough time on various mommy-message-boards and took a shellacking for being the working mother of 2, having holier-than-thous asking me why I "bothered having children" if I wasn't going to raise them myself, etc. Now it seems that St. Sarah of Palin somehow escapes those judgments?

Anyone know how old the father of Bristol's baby is? Wouldn't it be just the best if he's 30? And how appropriate that the daughter of this modern-day Annie Oakley is having a shotgun wedding!

Hey look... I don't care who gets knocked up and whether they keep their baby or enter into wedded juvenile bliss. What I care about is this off-the-wall, impulsive choice-- a person who could EASILY wind up running this country if (god forbid) McCain wins this election and chokes on a chicken bone. (see? I didn't even make an old-man joke)

My sister had a great theory... maybe he really doesn't want to be President after all, and purposely sabotaged the campaign? Stranger things have happened...

Republican Logic

2008-08-30T09:13:00.003-04:00

OK, so let me get this straight: women who supported Hillary Clinton are now going to vote for John McCain because he chose a woman to be his running mate? A woman who is the polar opposite, politically, from Hillary Clinton?

Based on that logic, men must REALLY be having a tough time deciding who to vote for. In every election. Which penis should I choose??

What an insult to women everywhere. Seriously.

------------

I wonder how the radical conservative SAHMs are going to deal with the fact that this woman has five children, one of whom has Down's Syndrome, yet she WORKS. She lets "someone else" raise her children. Curious to hear the spin on that one.

------------

I'm sorry to see both the Olympics and the summer end.

------------

Fall TV I'm looking forward to:

True Blood on HBO
Survivor
The Amazing Race
Dancing with the Stars (only because of the hilarious cast. As Joel said on The Soup this weekend, half the cast appeared on a 1978 episode of The Love Boat)
Ugly Betty
Grey's Anatomy (although I think this will be the last season, and probably should be)
Entourage
Nip/Tuck (not sure what the return date is, though)

------------

I sure hope the movie version of "The Secret Life of Bees" does justice to the book, but I'm not very hopeful.

------------

Might be taking my kids to the So You Think You Can Dance tour, because my company sponsors it! Waiting with bated breath (or "baited breath" as they say on the Internets) to see if I score some tickets. My two will be apoplectic if we get them.

------------

Best of luck to our friends on the Gulf Coast. The anniversary of Katrina and its aftermath is something we should never, ever forget. Bush should be facing criminal charges as a result of his inaction, and/or impeachment. But I forgot... we only punish Presidents who get blow jobs. Right.

The Sunshine Boys

2008-08-22T12:31:00.002-04:00

So, when I first heard that John McCain was considering Joe Lieberman as a running mate, I thought... hmmm... why does the image of those two bring something else to mind? What would that something else be?

v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v

Gotta Love ONN

2008-08-17T20:10:00.000-04:00

Injury update: Thanks to all concerned readers who either commented or emailed about my hip injury. I did go see an orthopedist who said that if I were older, I would have shattered it. But right now it appears to be a massive contusion with a compressed and inflamed hip joint. I have to see him again on the 26th, but in the meantime have to stay off it. Going a little stir crazy.........

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

It would be really funny if it weren't true!!

-----

Where have I been? OK, I'm going to proceed as though someone cares. ;)

First, I have contracted Olympic Fever and therefore have been rendered housebound from 8pm to midnight. How can you possibly take your eyes off girls who are allegedly 16, but look like they are a year or two out of Pull-Ups?

Chinese Officials: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever

The timing of this illness is rather fortuitous, because I am also rendered housebound by the fact that my dog Kelso, whom you all know I love dearly, managed to pull me to the ground last Wednesday. I hit the pavement with my left hip, full force, and it was not pretty. It remains not pretty.

I had x-rays at one of those urgent care centers, where the doctor deemed that nothing was broken but that this would take "a month or two" to heal. Huh??

A little over a week later, I'm still hurting and can't really walk properly, so I think I need to go to a real doctor and maybe get an MRI. I'm no spring chicken, you know.

So.... that's where I've been. No excuse for not blogging, since my upper body and brain are allegedly still functioning. I can only blame that on Facebook, aka Internet Fun for People with ADD. (IFPADD)

I Was a Blubbering Mess... and I'm Not Lion

2008-07-29T08:39:00.001-04:00

I actually saw this on The Today Show, but the only good clip I could find was from The View. My apologies in advance for having to subject you to the women of The View, but the video is so worth watching if you haven't already seen it.

Amazing Animation!

2008-07-25T13:43:00.000-04:00

(Check out their others... like "Roof Sex" which is hilarious.)

Separated at Birth?

2008-07-24T07:37:00.002-04:00

Drew Peterson...

...and the Cowardly Lion.

And may I suggest to all women out there that they NOT marry anyone named "Peterson"? Especially if your name rhymes with "Stacey" or "Lacey"?

Finding Bullwinkle....NOT

2008-07-21T18:48:00.008-04:00

OK, I've been a bad blogger. Facebook has taken some of my attention away, just simply because it's like blogging for ADD people. But I've been doing other stuff, and dealing with some yet OTHER stuff, and just not writing very much at all. I kind of miss it although I have to get my inspiration back somehow.

Here's the good stuff I've been doing:

Visiting Lucas at camp...

...with my lovely daughter...

Spending the weekend with her at this cool place in the Catskills called The Roxbury Motel.

It's an old motel that someone renovated into a snazzy themed but tasteful place (think "West Elm" on crack). You can read my review on TripAdvisor (which is a great resource, btw).

A few days later I drove to The White Mountains of New Hampshire with my SO and stayed here... (I'll be writing my TripAdvisor review soon...the place is amazing and can you say "steam shower"??? They have rooms with Jacuzzi tubs too, but our steam shower was even better than that)

...looking for moose...

Not finding any moose (the photo above was taken from a brochure...fooled ya, eh?), we played golf...

...and saw some covered bridges on the way home...

------

The less fun stuff that has occupied my time involves brain chemistry (mostly anxiety) but I'm working that out (hopefully) because I have a history of agoraphobia and that can really put a dent in one's social life.

I've also been working. Which is not fun. But I'll leave it at that, because at least it pays the bills.

I've still been trying to reason with the Surrogate's Court to resolve the issue of my late ex-husband's life insurance so I can actually get some help supporting our son. It's been almost five years since his untimely (but not entirely unexpected) death, and the money is still tied up.

Bullying Update: The more dangerous of the two boys who have targeted Lucas is now being charged with two adult crimes (trespassing and assaulting a 72-year-old woman) so he might finally get the help/incarceration that he so desperately needs. The other kid (who kicked a boy in the testicles the same day the child returned to school after hernia surgery) remains at large (both live in our condos).

SO....... I've got a few more posts coming.... some movie/DVD/TV reviews... and a post about Fit-Flops. Yes, Fit-Flops. I spent $60 on these so I'd better look like Stacey Keebler by the end of the summer. Or else.

Car Tunes

2008-07-05T08:06:00.002-04:00

What I'm listening to in the car these days (an hour and twenty minutes to and from work...music and audiobooks are key):

Book:

Just finished The Book Thief. If you have not read this book, get thee to a bookery ASAP. I strongly recommend the audio version, because as with The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns, the accent of the narrator adds so much to the experience.

Have a few options for my next audiobook...Interpreter of Maladies, The Tenth Circle, The Thirteenth Tale (but I started listening to that and I know I have to read it, because there are too many names and I need to SEE complex books like that), Water for Elephants, or I'd be open to suggestions.

Music:

The "Weeds" Soundtrack: I just watched Season One and I'm totally hooked. Addicted. Got a monkey on my back. You get the picture. (some of the dialogue on this show literally makes me laugh out loud. My dog is puzzled.)

You're No God -- Laura Marling

The Yard -- Trolle Siebenhaar

What Would Jay-Z Do? -- Ben Lee

some surprise -- the cake sale

Up to the Mountain -- Patty Griffin

Tiger Phone Card -- Dengue Fever

Heaven -- The Swimmers

I Wanna Take You Home -- Nada Surf (factoid: I dated the lead singer. Nice guy. Happy for him that they really did get that record deal!)

Lucky Adam -- Merz

After Hours -- We Are Scientists

All You Need Is Me -- Morrissey

All I Need -- Mat Kearney

Wish I -- Jem

So Damn Happy -- Loudon Wainwright III

All Will Be Well (Demo) -- Gabe Dixon

Whistle For The Choir -- The Fratellis

Boom Boom Ba -- Metisse

The Way I Am -- Ingrid Michaelson

Sunny Road -- Emiliana Torrini

Careless Love -- Madeline Peyroux

Mushaboom -- Feist

Young Folks -- The Kooks

Young Love -- Mystery Jets

From My Heart To Yours -- Laura Izibor

Broken -- Lifehouse

Best Friends -- The Perishers

Always a Use -- Madeleine Peyroux

You and I Both -- Jason Mraz

Where to Start -- Elin Ruth

Where I Stood -- Missy Higgins

Who's Your Daddy?

2008-06-25T08:38:00.002-04:00

Had he lived, today would have been my father's 89th birthday. Time to post this rerun.

I've written a lot so far about my mother, and a little bit about them as a couple, but not too much about my dad. That's partly because while I have a lot of pretty horrific memories of him from my childhood, I know now that much of his bad behavior was driven by my mother and maybe even by clinical depression, and I have forgiven him.

At heart, he was a very warm guy. He really liked us as babies (good thing, because my mother handled us like we were radioactive), pretty much until we got big enough to block the TV. He had a really strong Brooklyn accent, which made me laugh even as a child. He said "Oil" when he meant "Earl", and "earl" when he meant "oil". I remember pointing it out to him once, but I think he clocked me one. He was a gadget freak. We didn't have a lot of money...he was a mailman afterall. But we always had new cars, air conditioning before anyone else, more than one TV before that was the norm, and electric EVERYTHING. Electric can opener, card shuffler, back scratcher...you name it, we had it. He even bought an electric cigarette-roller. That didn't work so well. (He didn't score the first COLOR TV on the block, though. My grandparents did! )

I think because I was the third girl and he was probably hoping for a son, he taught me everything I know about baseball, boxing, engines, and of course it was Sal who taught me how to handicap racehorses (a talent I displayed to a nun for Show & Tell in 6th grade). He even brought me to the track once and let me pick his horses, but I did a little too well and he thought it better not to bring me back.

One of the best things he left me with, although unknowingly, was a collection of bawdy 78rpm records by a singer named Ruth Wallis, the queen of the double-entendre. I found the records as a teenager, hidden at the back of his collection along with the Belle Starr ones. One was called "Johnny's Little Yo-Yo" ("Johnny's got the same little yo-yo...that he had when he was a kid") and "Loretta's a Sweater Girl" ("...how does she steal away each fella's heart? She's got two outstanding reasons...she's cute and she's smart!"). I played them, memorized them, and entertained the "troops" by belting them out on High School bus trips.

While his sense of "humor" could be mean (sending my sister to the hardware store for "elbow grease") and sadistic (burying hated lima beans in my ice cream), it has also provided us with running jokes that will live on through my kids. ("Sing by the window and I'll help you out.")

So, while there are a lot of mistakes he made that will stick with me forever (I cannot listen to the 10,000 Maniacs song, "What's the Matter Here?" without blubbering), I can also say that he gave me valuable gifts...humor, a penchant for trivia, a love for sports and movies and Soupy Sales...and he made his peace with me by loving my children.

A few years before he died, I found the perfect Father's Day card for him. On the outside it said: "Dad, you know how I drove you crazy for so long?" and on the inside..."I'm almost done."

Sunday Will Never Be the Same

2008-06-13T19:58:00.003-04:00

R.I.P. Tim Russert
1950-2000

Such sad, sad news. We loved Tim.

My Favorite Political Ad

2008-06-03T19:49:00.000-04:00

Gotta love it....

Calling All Artists and Craftspeople to Help the Greyhounds!

2008-05-28T07:01:00.000-04:00

Our local adoption group, Greyhound Rescue and Rehab, is having their annual picnic in June. It's not all fun and games (well, it's SOME fun and games) but there is also an auction to raise money for the GRR medical fund.

If you can donate an item of artwork (photo, painting, sculpture) or craft (jewelry, clothing, household item or dog leashes or collars (martingale style), PLEASE email me at mvpublic at mac dot com) right away. It's a great way to do something generous for the hounds, but also a way to promote your work! There is going to be about 110 people at the picnic this year.

As for the fun and games, here's a recent picnic costume winner:

And here's a timely rerun of "Myths vs. Truths about Greyhounds"!

Myths vs. Truths about retired racing greyhounds:

MYTH: People who own racing greyhounds just keep them when their racing days are over.
TRUTH: When a racer is retired (anywhere between 18 months and 6 years of age), an adoption group will take the dog and find a home for it. No one knows the exact numbers, but in some parts of the country and at some tracks, dogs are still euthanized when they can no longer race. Thankfully more and more adoption groups are springing up every day.

MYTH: Greyhounds, since they were racers, need a lot of exercise.
TRUTH: Greyhounds, since they are retired, just want to lay on your couch. They don't need any more exercise than an average dog. During their working life they raced (for 30 seconds) every three or four days and slept in a crate for 16-20 hours a day in between. These guys were sprinters, not distance runners.

MYTH: Greyhound are high strung.
TRUTH: HAHAHAHAHAHA. Stop, yer killin' me.

MYTH: Since greyhounds are relatively large, purebred dogs, they must wind up with hip dysplasia and other genetic maladies and have relatively short lifespans.
TRUTH: Racing greyhounds are bred for health and performance, not for looks and "personality". They have a life expectancy of 12-14 years and do not suffer from the health issues that other pedigrees have. And they still have great personalities.

MYTH: Greyhounds were abused, so they must be skittish and spooky.
TRUTH: While we don't love greyhound racing, the abusers are in the minority. Practically speaking, you wouldn't abuse something that you are counting on for your livelihood. It would be more accurate to say that in racing, greyhounds are inventory. They are not pets while working, so they need to learn how to be the object of your affection. They are quick learners.

MYTH: Greyhounds cannot live with cats or other small animals.
TRUTH: This is true for some greyhounds, usually the ones who were excellent racers and have a high prey drive. However, many are retired early because they didn't care much about chasing the lure, and go on to live happily in homes with kitties and/or small dogs. Mine is not cat safe, but is fine with small dogs. The adoption group will tell you.

Other truths you may not know:
Greyhounds don't have a "dog smell".
Many dog-allergic people (like me) can live happily with greyhounds.
Because they are on a strict schedule at the track, many are very easy to housetrain.
They make great apartment dogs. They spend most of their time curled up in a little ball.
Most rarely bark. Some never bark. Mine only barks when he sees a dog who is not a greyhound. (He's a 'breedist". What can I say?)

And maybe the MOST important truth about greyhounds if you are considering adopting:

They can never, ever, EVER be trusted off-leash unless they are completely fenced in. They can see clearly up to 1/2 mile away, and if they spot something of interest (even a blowing paper bag), they will "lock on" and go for it, regardless of oncoming cars, trucks or trains. Oh, and electric fences don't work with greyhounds. If you don't believe me, put the collar on, get in your car and drive through the electric fence at 45mph. You'll be, oh, about a mile away before you feel the shock.
If you are serious about adopting, you will (or should) go through a pretty thorough screening. If the adoption doesn't work out, you don't give the dog away or bring it to a shelter...you return it to the group. So, they like to be pretty certain that the dog will be right for you.

Bottom line: If you want an incredible companion, don't have the time or energy to raise a puppy, and would like what is basically a cat in a dog costume, then a retired racing greyhound may be the ticket!

If you can't adopt but want to help (adoption groups have to pay for all medical costs when a dog leaves the track, including neutering and dental work but sometimes repair of broken bones as well) click HERE and be sure to say that panthergirl sent you!

TOP COOK!!!!

2008-05-21T22:33:00.003-04:00

In a thrilling turn of events, David Cook wins American Idol!!

He had me at "Hello"...

Why I Love "So You Think You Can Dance"

2008-05-19T16:21:00.003-04:00

Because unlike "Dancing with the Stars", which is moderately amusing, the dancing and choreography on this show are SICK... (to borrow a Shane Sparks term). The music is great (and real, as opposed to the muzak-reworkings offered up on DWTS), with a lot of indie and alternative choices that are worthy of an episode-by-episode soundtrack list.

I think it's sad that there doesn't seem to be the same opportunity for fame and fortune for these dancers (as opposed to, say, singers on American Idol). They are ridiculously talented, yet what can they really "win"? A spot in the background of a J-Lo video? (ok, sometimes you get to MARRY J-Lo as a result, but not usually). Unless they are a "triple threat" (sing/dance/act) they won't get a job beyond the chorus line of a Broadway show, but although that's steady and decent-paying work it's not "stardom".

What's with the double standard? Singers don't have to be able to dance... why are there only a handful of REALLY famous dancers who don't do anything else?

Discuss.

A Book Find AND A Blog Find!

2008-05-17T07:55:00.005-04:00

Found this through the fabulous Deni Bonet, who sent me to Marc Acito's blog, which is great in its own right. The premise of the blog is that he does something new every day and posts about it. This was actually done by his brother, so I guess the new thing was that he had never posted a video made by his brother before. ;)

Seriously, check out his blog. He's also an author and I'm heading over to Borders tomorrow to both see my daughter and to pick up a copy of his new book, The Attack of the Theater People.

Riding in Cars with Marge

2008-05-11T08:10:00.002-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to all who are mothers, have mothers, or have made someone a mother. I'm reposting one of my favorite Marge stories for your Mother's Day pleasure.

Marge, on left, and pal

My mother Marge has been a continuous (yet unintentional) "sauce of entertainment" to the sane members of my family over the year. She comes out with the most inane and ridiculous things, usually at completely inappropriate times. (A recent example of this was posted here, but long-time readers of this blog are quite familiar with this trait.)

When we were kids, she loved bragging to us about what a popular teenager she was, how many guys were after her, and how she was the first girl in her neighborhood to drive and own her own car. She'd go on ad nauseum about how many hands she had to slap from her knee while driving. (hopefully the looker to her left in this photo wasn't one of her suitors)

The love of cars and driving is something that she and my father had in common, and on my dad's mailman salary we always owned brand new vehicles ("You don't want to buy someone else's headache!") which my father would eventually plow into the trunk of a car he was tailgating. (Once, he did it on the way home from the dealership. At 10 years old, I felt very much like Ralphie in "A Christmas Story" as I cringed through the stream of obscenities that followed.)

Anyway...fast forward to about 15 years ago, my parents in their 70s, driving their gold-package Crown Victoria (or, "The Police Car" as we like to call it) in Florida, with my two nephews (15 and 13 at the time) in the back seat. Sal was driving with Marge riding shotgun. Cruising down I-4 at 85mph, they had the front windows open all the way and big band music blaring. When the wind inside the car reached gale force, my mother turned around and yelled, "HEY...ARE YOU KIDS GETTIN' A BLOW JOB BACK THERE?"

I guess we know why she was so damned popular in that car of hers!

---------
Hey, do me a favor and go vote for Robert Leleux's wonderful book, The Memoirs of a Beautiful Boy!

Blow Up

2008-05-04T08:01:00.004-04:00

Crappy weather weekend here, which means I'm catching up on some of my Netflix movies.

Ryan Gosling is one of my very favorite young actors. I loved him in Half Nelson and Fracture, but Lars and the Real Girl puts him right over the top for me.

If you think this is a silly film about a guy who falls in love with a blow-up doll, you couldn't be more wrong. It's a film about mental illness, compassion, and the about suspending disbelief: both for the film audience and for the characters in the movie itself.

I laughed at myself a few times as I wept for "Bianca". But the fact that I did is a testament to the wonderful cast and to the screenwriter. Don't miss this one.

The Good, The Bad and The Hilarious

2008-05-02T12:41:00.003-04:00

The Good:

The letter I wrote to my local newspaper generated several calls to me from other parents who have been dealing not only with the same issue, but with the same KIDS. Some since kindergarten. The paper wrote a followup article, ran an editorial and published a letter from another concerned parent who has taken up the bullying cause, but ultimately pulled her child from the school district.

The Bad:

Lucas is now being targeted verbally by friends of these boys ("Alec said that he and Jimmy stuck their d***s in your face.")

The article is just ok. I think the quoted expert focuses too much on school situations, when that's only half the problem. He also implies that the victim needs to find ways to cope or to avoid being targeted. That's like blaming the victim of rape for wearing a short skirt. I'm also disappointed that they did not interview a psychologist about the effects of bullying on children.

Watch this:

The school says they are taking "appropriate action" regarding these incidents (another occurred last Monday), but due to privacy laws they can't tell me what. I spent an hour with the police who basically throw their hands up and say "We can only do what the law allows. And the law doesn't consider this behavior to be assault." They described an incident where a girl gave another girl a huge black eye, but when the judge said "Does it hurt?" she said not really, and he thew the case out. When it comes to juveniles in this county, apparently a bone has to be broken in order for it to be considered assault. Yet, one of these kids HAS broken a child's arm in the past and is still not incarcerated.

So, again, anything that occurs outside the school's jurisdiction seems to have no consequence.

My next step is to take letters from the other parents, other members of my condo (they don't only target children) and go to the County Attorney to see if we can get an order of protection for my son. We are also looking into the possibility of a class action civil suit against the parents. These people have children who aren't just "bullies". They have real problems and need medical treatment. Anything less is neglect, and in the meantime the kids are a public menace.

Maybe the District would like to fund private school tuition for my son. That's sounding like a good idea to me.

OK, now to the Hilarious.

You'll need to wear these:

to see this:

Although I didn't expect much, Forgetting Sarah Marshall is the funniest movie I've seen since Team America: World Police. And I am proud to say that I was the only person in the theater who laughed at "I need to B my L on someone's T's".

License to Bully

2008-04-25T07:35:00.002-04:00

Some of you may recall this post from two years ago about bullies on the school bus. Since that time, we've been dealing with other bullies in our condo community. I've had to call the police three times this school year due to actions taken against my son, and I'm sick of it.

Yesterday, our local paper published a letter that I wrote, hopefully to get the attention of other parents in the area and to call attention to the complacence of the police.

Here it is:

Parents: You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know About Bullies

Since the beginning of this school year, I have learned something I never knew when it comes to protecting our children: Your son or daughter can be harassed and assaulted by 12 and 13 year olds, but until those kids are over 16, or until they physically injure your child, the [local] Police can do nothing more than write up a report and talk to these kids and their parents.

If the assault takes place on school grounds, the school can suspend them. If it takes place on the bus, an incident report is written up. But if it takes place when your child is walking home from the bus stop, you’ll get “I wish there was something else we could do” and that’s about it. Once you let the school know that you’ve met with an attorney, they will agree to put your child on an “overflow” bus that drops him off at your door. (What is wrong with this picture? Why isn’t it the delinquent children that get put on the “special” bus?)

The assault can include throwing your child to the ground, punching him, sitting on him, menacing and even exposing genitals to him. It can include taunting, mocking, and verbally harassing your child, even in your presence.

The parents of these kids are either of the “my kid would never..” ilk, or bullies themselves. Some are alcoholics and some of these kids clearly need psychological and/or medical help.

But in the meantime, your child can be on the receiving end of some very destructive behavior that leaves him or her in a hyper vigilant state, fearful of playing outdoors and unable to enjoy a leisurely walk home from the bus stop on a beautiful day.

We all know about Columbine, about Virginia Tech, about the recent beating of a Florida girl that wound up on You Tube. Whenever these horrific incidents occur, you hear the refrain, “The signs were always there.” People begin to recount the behaviors that had been seen an ignored for years leading up to the “big one”.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my child to be a victim of “the big one”. I don’t want to wait three years, and I don’t want to get the call telling me that a 12-year-old who is twice his size has broken his arm. We need to protect our children now, and hold these bullies and their parents accountable.

Wiseass 101

2008-04-15T09:06:00.003-04:00

In "honor" of the Pope's visit to the US, I just had to rerun this fan favorite:

Longtime readers of this blog know that I went to Catholic school for twelve years. Barring the "peep peep" joke from 1st grade, I was a pretty good little Catholic in elementary school. High school, not so much.

I was in trouble a good part of the time, never for anything hostile or hurtful but more for antics like collecting the dissected worms from Biology class and putting them in various appetizing places around the lunchroom. (including the Coke machine and in an unsuspecting girl's sandwich). I was sent to the principal's office for organizing poker games that sometimes ended in fistfights (hey, not me...it was those other crazy chicks!). I'd bring a giant Scotch bottle filled with pennies to school, tie ribbons around my sleeves and wear a visor for the poker events (staged on the filthy floor of the cafeteria). Remember, this was the early '70s...five card stud, not Texas Hold 'em.

When called out in Science class for who-knows-what, I enlisted two of my friends to join me in serenading our teacher, Mr. Arena (while sitting on his desk of course), in a plea to the tune of "Big Spender": "The minute you walked in the lab (boom boom)...I could see you were a man of demerits...a real five pointer..Hey, Mr. Arena! Take ....... this little demerit from me..."

For the outcome, read my 100 Things. ;)

I devised a way for us to go braless (under our white cotton uniform blouses) to drive the male teachers nuts. The nuns would actually approach us and say "Are you wearing a bra??" We'd glue little piece of bra-strap inside the shoulder area of our blouse and pull it out through the neckline and say, "Yes, Sister! Of course!"

Influenced by my still-in-the-closet best friend Andrew, I would also make decidedly inappropriate selections for book reports, like the one I did on a little missive called "Mother Camp" about transvestites and transsexuals. I still have the report, replete with all the frenetic red markings scolding me for not getting the book pre-approved. Hey, I thought it was really fascinating! A particularly juicy paragraph helped the reader (in this case, the prune-faced Sister Ruth Miriam) distinguish between the various types of "queens", including the "dinge queen, noted for having anal sex in public restrooms." That nun is probably STILL in an oxygen tent.

Anyway, I digress. What the papal visit really reminds me of was an article I wrote for the school newspaper entitled, "The Pope: Who Died and Left HIM Boss?"

Although I probably spent twenty-six thousand hours in detention, I think they secretly got a kick out of me.

That Was the Week That Was

2008-04-12T18:30:00.006-04:00

Spent last weekend at Foxwoods/Mohegan Sun... the casinos on the reservations in Connecticut. The purpose of the trip was to see Santana in concert which was A-MAZING. I had seen Santana at the Fillmore East in 1970, and this was equally exciting. The opening act was The Derek Trucks Band, worth checking out if you love you some jazzy slide guitar. You can catch Santana in concert on RAVEHD (another one of the Zoom network channels). What I loved most was Carlos' banter and the AV show which highlighted clips from Woodstock and other early appearances. And if you don't get out to see live music much, doing it makes you realize why it's so special.

We also spent time in the casino (fun except for the disgusting cigarette smoke...yeuch!). I was up by about 100% at one point but lost it all. It was ok... I had planned for it. It was just nice to have some grownup time (we stayed out until 3AM on Saturday...haven't done that IN YEARS!)

-------------------

HOLY SMOKES. Did you see Fergie on Idol Gives Back this week? She looked amazing, she sounded UNBELIEVABLE... (I actually thought Ann Wilson was still singing because I had looked away, and thought "Wow... she really kept her voice!" and then saw it was Fergie!) and I want a pair of those PVC pants. The one-handed cartwheels put the whole thing over the top for me. Just awesome. (and how funny is "Band from TV"? Almost made Teri Hatcher sound good.) Anyway, I donated and tried to submit a request for a matching gift from my company. I got an email back stating "We do not match gifts to PETA or Greenpeace. Sorry." Huh??

And speaking of Idol... I was bummed to see Michael Johns go, but he'll do alright for himself. Still, Kristie Lee and Sayesha shouldn't have outlasted him.

-----------

And still speaking of American Idol, the AI Karaoke game for the Wii is great!! You sing and then get critiqued by Randy, Paula and Simon. Hilarious. As I've posted in the past, my little guy loves to sing but gives "tin ear" a whole new meaning. Don't quit your day job, Lucas.

--------------

Watched The Darjeeling Limited today. Initially I thought it was just going to be a fun and quirky/odd film but it really took a turn midway through that made it so much more than that. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and Jason Schwartzman looks exactly like a boyfriend I had when I was 16.

------------

Step Up and Win!

2008-04-04T08:25:00.008-04:00

Update: So far, we've gotten lots of good wishes but only one VERY generous donation, from Fiona. Be a good blog buddy and go visit her! If no one donates more than $100 by this weekend, Fiona will be sporting a Dog's Breakfast t-shirt... aren't you jealous?

Over the past couple of years, I've directed you to read my cousin Mary's blog, "Upward Over the Mountain". She's smart, funny (even though she doesn't like Flight of the Conchords. Oh well, nobody's perfect!) but most of all she's an amazingly good person. She is one of the few people I know who doesn't just talk about making the world a better place...she's dedicated her life to it. She's worked with battered women, the homeless, the elderly...all the while maintaining a fabulous sense of humor (previous reference to FOTC aside).

Now, she and a friend are going to take an incredible journey and need help and support to do it. Here is an excerpt from the email I received from Mary:
------
Hi friends and family,

My friend Kristen and I are setting off in July for six months of volunteer travel. We plan to do volunteer work all over the world including building affordable housing with Habitat for Humanity in Hungary, organic farming in Italy, Tsunami relief efforts in Thailand, assisting at an orphanage in Cambodia, working on a eco-farm in Costa Rica, teaching English to kids in Belize and finally, helping with Katrina relief efforts in New Orleans.

Our goal is to not only help organizations and people that need it through hands-on work and financial contributions, but to learn about the issues affecting these communities through talking to the people that live there.

We're setting out with open minds and hope this trip is the beginning of a larger purpose in expanding our knowledge about the world, other cultures and how we can come back to the US and do our best to make a positive difference in our own communities.

To the point, we need to raise over $8,000 and are asking for your support.

More details about the trip, and the organizations we're working with, can be found at Voluntourists, our blog. You can donate right there in the sidebar!
It's easy. You know the drill. I'll spare you the Sally Struthers "for the price of a cup of coffee" spiel, and just say that you can trust that whatever you can give will be very much appreciated and be used to support a great organization that needs it.

If you can't donate at this time, would you please forward this email to friends, family and strangers that may be able and willing to help? Even if you can contribute, would you forward it anyway?

Do you have a blog and/or a website? Will you post about the trip on said blog or website? We'll return the favor and link to your site on ours if you'd like.

We'll keep everyone posted on our travels through pictures, blog posts, video, interviews, and even good 'ol fashion snail mail if ya like! If you have any questions about any of this, just let me know.

Thanks so much for your support. I hope this finds you and your crew doing well.

Mary

------

OK, peoples. I tell ya what I'm gonna do.

I've already donated $100 to Mary and Kristen. If someone reading this blog makes a donation, please email me at mvpublic at mac dot com to let me know (include your name and the amount of your donation, so I can cross-check with Mary). The person who donates the most will receive TWO outstanding prizes

1. A music CD mixed by moi. I promise you an outstanding and eclectic selection of supercool tunes.
2. Your very own Dog's Breakfast mug or t-shirt (long or short-sleeve, or hat or any other similarly priced promo item from Cafe Press)

If you also cross-post to your blog, I'll throw in a third "mystery" prize.

Steal Magnolias

2008-03-31T15:43:00.003-04:00

One of my favorite TV spots of all time is the one the MTV used to (still does?) use in between shows: it's a CD and the sound of a chainsaw which is what you need to open one.

When attempting to open a similarly theft-proofed package the other day, I started to mentally list everything that would be SO different (or non-existent) if people simply did not steal:

Door locks. Keys. Car alarms. Padlocks. Window gates. Department store security tags.(Ever accidentally buy something where the tag hasn't been removed? Ever have that happen when it's a birthday gift that you bought on your WAY to the birthday party? Yeah, me too.) Security guards. Bike locks. Home alarm systems. Cash registers (well, ok...you'd still need to keep track of sales). Safe-deposit boxes. Vaults. Armored cars. Fort Knox. Security scanners. "Check your bag" at the entrance stores (common in NYC). Video stores with empty boxes on display.

Think about it as you go through your day. All of the extra packaging, every extra bit of energy you have to expend in life simply because people like to take things that don't belong to them. Life would be so different if we never had to think about it.

When I was in Tortola in 1981, life was like that. People just didn't steal. You could leave your stuff on the beach, go out to lunch and everything would be untouched upon your return (and by "stuff" I mean not just books, coverups and blankets... I mean cameras). I don't know if it's still that way, but all I can tell you is that life is far more relaxed when you don't have to think about being ripped off.

See what I mean?

Panthergirl's Picks and Pans of the Week

2008-03-28T07:40:00.004-04:00

Picks:

Into the Wild (DVD): Sean Penn's beautiful film about Chris McCandless, the young idealist who leaves home after college, donates his entire $24,000 savings to charity, in a quest for ultimate freedom in the wilds of Alaska. I hadn't read the book (by Jon Krakauer) so I didn't know how the story ends. Hal Holbrook's performance is truly worthy of the Oscar nomination that he received...incredibly moving.

------

The Bank Job (in theaters): A really fun ride about a bumbling group of bank robbers who don't even know the magnitude of the robbery they are committing. One of those rare "Thromedies" (Thriller/Comedy) that will leave you feeling completely entertained. And that's the point, right?

-------

The Tudors: I'm still finishing up Season One on DVD, but I've already decided to get Showtime before Season Two starts. Riveting and beautiful to look at.

-------

Monsters HD (on the Zoom Network). I hate the current horror film genre, and I'm too scared of films like The Omen (gave me nightmares for two weeks) and The Shining (still can't watch the whole thing), but Monsters HD shows classic (and not so classic) old monster movies as well . The kind that usually wound up on Mystery Science Theater. So bad that they're good. It's commercial free, except for the Monster Channel promos in between the films, which are masterpieces in and of themselves.

Pans:

Dan in Real Life (DVD). Steve Carrell plays a widower raising three daughters who goes to a family reunion weekend and falls hopelessly in love with Juliette Binoche in 5 minutes, during a chance meeting in a bookstore. As it turns out, she is actually the new girlfriend of his brother, and they spend the rest of the film trying not to let the rest of the family know that they are hot for each other. I love Steve Carrell and I love Juliette Binoche, but this film is really a piece of crap. If it deserves an award, it would be "Most Inane Monologue in Any Film, Ever" for a speech that Binoche's character gives in the bookstore at the beginning of the film. Who talks like that??

-------

Mildred Pierce: OK, so this isn't really a "pan". I watched this on TCM the other night. Joan Crawford won an Academy Award for her performance as a struggling working woman who is desperately trying to please her spoiled brat daughter. What struck me was the scene where her younger daughter (probably 6 years old) dies of pneumonia. She dabs a couple of tears from her eyes, and someone offers her "a nice hot cup of tea". Heck, my ex-husband cried more than that when the Knicks lost the playoffs in '94.

---------

Doctors: I have what appears to be the flu. Yesterday, I left messages for two doctors: my internist and my pulmonologist. I have asthma, so when I get a cold or flu I have to vigilant about my lungs or I'll wind up in some serious trouble. I left detailed messages, saying that I need an Rx for antibiotics or prednisone and neither doctor returned my call. WTF??

The Talented Friends of Panthergirl

2008-03-22T12:49:00.003-04:00

As I was driving home from work the other day (did I mention that it takes me an hour and twenty minutes now? Yeah, I thought I had.) it occurred to me how many incredibly talented friends I have.

I am still reading The Memoirs of a Beautiful Boyby Robert Leleux, whom I met at the wedding of my friend Nadia. (I introduced her to my friend Rich and they got married two years ago...too cool.)

Nadia is an incredibly talented and gorgeous singer/songwriter, and if you live in or near NYC be sure and try to see her. Her gigs are always posted on her website (the site itself is great!).

Two other singer/songwriter friends of mine I met right here in the blogosphere.

Deni Bonet, whom many of you know as the Last Girl on Earth, is truly one of the coolest people I know. AND we actually got to meet a few years ago in NYC, and she was as great in real life as she is here on the web. She's an amazingly talented rock violinist (has played with Cyndy Lauper, Sara McLachlan and Corinne Bailey Rae (on SNL!) and her original songs are so much fun. (and how great is that dress??)

Bud Buckley has a brand new CD out! He's got a Dylan-esque flair, but really a style that is all his own. Check him out before he gets too famous. We can say "we knew him when." And you get two for the price of one, because Deni plays violin on Bud's CD! One of my personal Bud favorites is "Let Me Go".

My dear friend Joy Masoff, mentioned previously for her fabulous and popular book, Oh Yuck!, is working on another sequel that I'll write about when it's done!

---------

Kelso update:

OK, you won't believe this (I still don't) but the day after Kelso had his stitches removed he banged his right rear foot into a piece of furniture and split his nail right down the middle...the long way. OUCH. Back to the vet we went, and now he's got a big bandage and a boot on that foot. Someone suggested that I need to encase him in bubble wrap, and I think that may be the way to go.

What I Learned This Week

2008-03-14T09:06:00.005-04:00

- If you want to make it in the music business, become a prostitute. It's good practice for BEING IN the music business.

----

- Marion Cotillard is a terrific actress. La Vie en Rose is not a terrific film.

----

- The justice system is really screwed up. I'm still astounded by this 60 Minutes story.

----

- I can get into the whole "brackets" thing without watching one basketball game. Check out Fafarazzi.

----

- Driving 35 minutes to and from work is a nice commute. Driving an hour and 20 minutes to and from work is horrible.

----

- When you're reading a really good book, you could finish it in one day but you don't want to.

Client 9 from Outer Space

2008-03-10T18:03:00.002-04:00

My god. I never particularly liked Eliot Spitzer, but what planet does this guy live on? How could he possibly think he could hire a prostitute and not be found out? (and it's not just the prostitute that is causing him problems...it's when you get into things like money laundering that you're TRULY fucked.)

At least our boy Bill Clinton never pretended to be an altar boy. This guy, on the other hand, was "squeaky clean" and held himself up as the arbiter of ethics. Yes, what Bill did was dumb (I've always said, why blow the president unless you can tell someone about it?) but what Spitzer did was indicative, to me, of an enormous amount of arrogance and ego that led him to believe he would never be caught.

Sheesh.

Photo Friday: Surreal

2008-03-07T10:13:00.003-05:00

OK, I didn't take the photo. But it's my grandparents, taken in their native hillside town of Calitri outside Naples, Italy. I still can't figure out how my grandmother is staying on that donkey, but if that's not surreal I don't know what is!

-----

Kelso update: After having torn out all five staples, he's now in the Mork from Ork hard plastic collar from hell, with SIX brand new staples.

Idol Boys

2008-03-05T06:24:00.005-05:00

My favorite American Idol performances last night were from
David Cook

(taking a putrid Lionel Richie song and turning it into a growling rock anthem? You're my hero!)

and Jason Castro

Love that kid. Vinnie Barbarino meets Bob Marley. Bobarino. If he never has to speak to anyone he'll be a big star.

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat, Er Collar

2008-03-04T15:11:00.003-05:00

Postscript to the Kelso story:

His legs are so long that the current collar does not keep him from getting at the injury. So, I'm on my way back to the vet to pick up an even more humiliating accessory for him.

Lucas thinks we should rent him out as a satellite dish.

Adding Insult to Injury

2008-03-02T09:49:00.002-05:00

First, the injury:

Laptop slides from the bed and lands on Kelso's leg. OUCH. We tried using our "greyhound repair kit" but it soon became apparent that the cut needed medical attention. Five staples later, he was on the mend.

Then, the insult:

They call it the Elizabethan collar, meant to keep the dog from licking or biting the wound. That's a rather optimistically regal term for something that makes him look less like Queen Elizabeth and more like Pagliacci in the petunia patch.

Marge Madness

2008-02-29T06:59:00.003-05:00

Just got back from 10 days on the road. Lucas, my SO and I drove from NY to Florida... first to Orlando where we visited my mother, spent four nights at the timeshare (see below) and then went down to West Palm Beach for the weekend before driving back.

As many of you already know, my mother is... how you say... "different". The first night of our visit, the four of us sat around her dining room table. At one point, she said something like "Our family doesn't change jobs a lot, and doesn't move around a lot." I chuckled and said something like "Speak for yourself", meaning that I have had several jobs and have lived in several different places since moving out of the house where I grew up.

Thankfully, the SO in question has known me for a long time and is aware of my marital history (and not bothered by it), because she immediately looked at him and said "Well.... her and all of her husbands! Elizabeth Taylor over there!" Ay yi yi... I'm sure my son really appreciated that too. We laughed about it later, but seriously... how did she know that this isn't a sensitive topic for us? Or doesn't she care?

Xanax and Pepto Bismol got me through the 24 hours or so that we spent with her. My son stayed for a few days and they had a great time together. She taught him bridge (he knew the basics from a Marx Brothers movie), they played golf and did crossword puzzles. He doesn't have the same history with her, but by Thursday he was ready to go as well.

------

Other notes from the road:

- When you go to Universal Studios in Orlando, and you're told to put all of your loose belongings in a locker prior to boarding The Revenge of the Mummy ride, there's a reason for that. (between the Mommy and the Mummy, this was a traumatic trip!)

- The Xpress Pass is totally worth it. We didn't wait more than 2 minutes for anything. The normal wait time for most attractions was 40-50 minutes.

- Going to a theme park without kids is more fun. I'm just sayin'.

- The GPS isn't always right.

- When you need to stop for gas in Washington DC, don't go to the gas station where the guy inside is protected by bulletproof glass.

- Playing Trivial Pursuit on a long drive makes it go really fast.

- Having my son reading the questions makes it go even faster, particularly when he reads "mastectomy" as "malestectomy", and "Wild Bill Hickok" as "Wild Bill High-cock".

- A week of warmth in February is a recharge for the soul.

Let It Snow

2008-02-23T08:23:00.002-05:00

This is where I've been this past week, considering a timeshare purchase with Marriott. Seems like a great way to vacation, and I'd love to hear from anyone who's done it (particularly with Marriott).

Now we're in West Palm Beach, heading back North tomorrow. It's a LONG drive, but we'll take our time and hopefully the snow will have melted by the time we're back on Monday night!

Happy C-Day

2008-02-14T20:51:00.002-05:00

It was funny enough listening to Meredith Viera talk about The Vagina Monologues on The Today Show, but when Jane Fonda let loose, with the c-word, it was a priceless TV moment. Thanks, Jane!

-----

We're heading down to Florida tomorrow with a pitstop in Gaithersburg MD for a few days. I'll try and post from time to time!

Crazy Love

2008-02-13T17:58:00.003-05:00

Er, whose choice is it, anyway?
----

A Valentine for every occasion indeed.
-------

Stalkers need love too.
-------

I [cough] love [cough] you [hack].
--------

There's nothing to say. This is the creepiest Valentine ever, hands down.

Hope yours is filled with lurve.

Panthergirl's DVD of the Week

2008-02-10T12:07:00.000-05:00

Watched "Across the Universe" on DVD last night (with two of my favorite people, and you know who you are). My other favorite person was here on Thursday and Friday and that was great, too.

Anyway, I really enjoyed the film. There are a few distracting elements, namely (no pun intended) the fact that all the characters have names like Jude, Prudence, Maxwell and Sadie. Oh and Lucy. Of course. And some supremely silly moments like when Prudence "came in through the bathroom window", and when Jude ate a Granny Smith apple, dutifully cut down the middle. Thankfully, there were no appearances by Rocky the Raccoon, no one had Rubber Soles on their shoes, and no one's life went on, bra.

But otherwise, it was visually beautiful, incorporated the Beatles' music nicely, and the covers were excellent. Bono's cameo is perfect, and Joe Cocker's is scary. Never a "looker", per se, he now looks like a less-attractive cross between Willie Nelson and Nick Nolte's mug shot.

It's a politically relevant look back at 1968, with some parallels that should scare the pants off us now. It also reminds us of how passionate people become in the face of a draft. Sad that it requires that kind of personal threat in order to get us riled up.

My favorite scene: the Army induction center, Rhythm-Nation-inspired dance routine. Loved it.

Super Duper Pooper Scooper Grouper Trooper Cooper Snooper Tuesday

2008-02-06T09:29:00.000-05:00

OK, I did it. I voted for Obama. Why didn't someone tell me that there was going to be a string of delegate names on the ballot that I guess I was suppose to vote for, too? I was so discombobulated in the booth that I finally just flicked the lever for Obama and left. Then I looked at the printout (that I should have seen BEFORE I voted) and saw those delegate names. What's up with that?

Anyway, here's what swung my vote from Hillary to Obama: Too many people telling me that if she gets the nomination they will vote Republican for the first time in their lives. I don't get it, but I'm not willing to take that chance. To those folks I ask this question: if Obama is her running mate, will you still vote for McCain? (I'm assuming that's the Republican you'd vote for, and not one of those other kooks. I find McCain distasteful as well, but at least he's not planning to incinerate the Constitution. Hopefully.)

-------

I love Michael Strahan. His Howard Dean impersonation was dead-on:

---------------

Is it just me, or is Nip/Tuck particularly creepy this season? I mean the kooky slasher season was creepy, but this year.... woof. I keep forgetting NOT to watch it right before I go to sleep. Last night I pulled the covers over my head so I wouldn't see the last scene. That Sharon Gless character is waaaaaaaaaaaaay scary. It's also been quite funny in places, and I still really love the show, but I just need to TiVO it and watch the next day. Preferably a bright and sunny day.

--------

Don't know which audition city that was from, but I fear for the judges when someone like this shows up. Still, her penchant for malapropisms make it fun to watch. ("Simon was so SNUG..")

Can we just get to Hollywood week already?

There Will Be Ticker Tape

2008-02-04T17:29:00.001-05:00

Two things that made me go "wow" yesterday:

The Giants!

and Daniel Day Lewis.

Great game, great film. Great company, great guacamole. Tomorrow ought to be interesting, in Manhattan. Ticker tape parade on primary election day. Thankfully I vote here in the 'burbs. Still don't know what I'm going to do, but hopefully I'll figure it out when I'm behind the curtain.

Best Super Bowl evah, but definitely not the best Super Bowl commercials. The one that made me laugh out loud was the Tide Talking Stain one. Otherwise, meh.

The film is long, very long, but riveting nonetheless and the performance by DDL is amazing. I'm still pulling for Javier Bardem who deserves the Oscar just for sporting that doofy haircut for three months. But if DDL gets it, I won't be upset. He was fantastic.

No Googling Allowed

2008-02-02T18:27:00.000-05:00

As promised, here are the fifty questions that were on the Jeopardy! online test for East Coast viewers on Tuesday night.

Now remember: We had 15 seconds to read the clue, think and type the answers. NOT easy. See how many you can blow through and I'll post the answers tomorrow. Where the category is less obvious, I've posted it right above the clue:

1. This Bravo series is hosted by Heidi Klum.

2. North Dakota's capital was named for this man.

3. His "Nude Descending a Staircase" caused a scandal at the 1913 Armory Show.

4. His "Innocents Abroad" started as a series of travel letters about his trip to Europe.

5. Marie-Louise, this man's second wife, married him by proxy in 1810.

6. This is the longest river in Asia, and the third-longest in the world.

7. Helium, argon and neon are all classified as these types of gases.

8. This former minister played bass guitar on the "Tonight Show" in January 2008.

9. This country's traditional dishes include meekrob and nasi goreng.

10. Jhumpa Lahiri wrote this 2003 novel about a Hindu family's transition to life in Massachusetts.

11. This actor-turned-director directed the 2007 film "Into the Wild."

12. This play begins on a ship carrying the wedding party of Alonso's daughter Claribel.

13. His record-setting baseball was branded with an asterisk before being sent to the hall of fame.

BEGINS WITH "R"
14. 4-letter term for a horse with a reddish coat sprinkled with white.

15. This New Zealand capital is the southernmost capital in the world.

16. After losing the presidential race to Lincoln, he was chosen to be secretary of state.

17. His only opera was "Fidelio."

18. In 1953 the Lenin Peace Prize went to this Chilean poet and diplomat.

19. Mangabey, Rhesus, Proboscis

RHYME TIME
20. Donor of a hepatic organ.

21. Christine Ebersole won a 2007 Tony for playing 2 Edies in this play based on a documentary film.

22. The third of Henry VIII's wives, she died while giving birth to his son Edward.

23. This reaction ocurrs in the choloroplasts, the oval-shaped, green organelles in plants.

24. Collective term for the "costs" involved in transferring real estate from a seller to a buyer.

25. 19 year-old Bilawal was chosen as a successor for this leader's party.

26. Born in 1800, he believed God had chosen him to leave his fellow black slaves to freedom.

27. Cygnets are the young of this animal.

28. From the Latin angere, "to torment," it's defined as the anticipation of danger or problems.

29. This color of the Libyan flag is also a symbol of devotion in Islam.

30. It's the first book in the New Testament.

31. This rapper received 8 2008 Grammy nominations, including album of the year for "Graduation."

32. He was the only bachelor president for his entire term.

33. This Riviera city has a museum devoted to the works of artist Henri Matisse, who spent his last years there.

34. Usually symbolized by a letter, a changing quantity in algebra is called this.

35. Raila Odinga, who claims to be Barack Obama's cousin, is the opposition leader in this country.

36. Johann Eck debated this noted Protestant in 1519 and helped get him excommunicated in 1521.

37. Mary Ann Evans wrote "Silas Marner" and many other novels using this pen name.

38. This Atlantic "sea" is named for the seaweed that can be seen there.

BEGINS WITH "A"
39. It's the food of the gods.

"PER" WORDS
40. Two lines, at right angles to each other.

41. Sara Gruen's "Water for" these animals explored the circus life during the Great Depression.

42. Famous for his chairs, in 1946 this designer had the first one-man furniture exhibit at MoMA.

43. In 2002, she became the first African American to win the Oscar for Best Actress.

44. This Jane Austen novel begins, "The family of Dashwood had long been settled in Sussex."

45. The first presidential trip out of the US was Teddy Roosevelt's 1906 inspection of this project.

46. Vinson Massif is the highest point on this continent.

47. He's credited with writing "The Iliad" and "The Odyssey."

48. Rhonda Byrne wrote this 2007 blockbuster which had everyone helping themselves through positive thinking.

49. In English, this verb form usually starts with "to", as in "to go" or "to be"

50. The original author's last story about this detective was "The Adventure of Shoscombe Old Place."

I think I got about half of them right, and if I had 3 more seconds I would have done a lot better. It was just SO fast!!

To Tip or Not To Tip

2008-01-30T07:37:00.000-05:00

Tipping. I've come to learn that tipping is an American phenomenon, or at least have been led to believe this. Several years ago, a friend was visiting from Australia and did so much complaining about our tipping practices that I finally said "Look. This is how it works here, so just deal with it. Ok?" His position was that restaurant owners, salon owners and cab companies should simply pay people enough money rather than relying on us to supplement their income.

I agree with that to a point. I've never understood the fact that restaurants are allowed to pay servers LESS than the minimum wage. Thanks to the "beloved" Ronald Reagan, these same servers now have to pay taxes on their tips...whether they receive them or not! The tips are estimated based on the receipts for the day, assuming that every patron left 15%. Craziness. As a result, the level of service in many establishments has suffered, because there is no direct correlation between the quality of service and what your server is credited for in tips. Still, I always leave at least 20% for good service because it does send an immediate message of appreciation.

But I digress. In this country, we not only tip wait-staff but we also tip cab drivers, hairdressers, manicurists, waxers, masseuses, delivery people, doormen, red caps, and on and on.

We don't tip people who work retail, although a person working in a bookstore or The Gap is making a crap salary too. Why is that?

My problem is often not whether to tip (although sometimes it is: if I'm paying a delivery charge for my groceries, do I also have to tip the guy? If I don't, will he spit in my peanut butter next time?), but how much.

I'm having a sofa delivered today. What am I supposed to give these guys? Dilemmas about tipping cause me a great deal of anxiety. I'll probably give them too much simply because I have fear of bad karma. Help!

********

A sidenote here: The Jeopardy! test was WAY hard. Fifty questions, but you had only 15 seconds to read and type your answer (thankfully NOT in the form of a question). I think I did ok, although in some cases I thought of the correct answer about 45 seconds too late. A transcript will be posted online later today so maybe I'll post it here, so you can see how well you would have done. But remember that it's a lot easier when you have a lot of time to read, think and then type. Whew!

Barack, I Hardly Know Ye

2008-01-27T12:46:00.001-05:00

Update: Check this out. Very helpful tool to compare the candidates.

Argh. I'm so confused. Six days ago I posted that I was going to support Hillary for the nomination and gave what I felt were pretty solid reasons why. I don't particularly like her (not the way I liked Bill) but thought she was the best candidate to actually do what we need done in this country and who had a chance to get elected.

Since then, in the past six days, she has really turned me off. And my boy Bill is getting a little loopy I think. It also offends my feminist sensibilities for him to be her front man in the campaign. I'd rather see her do it without him (unrealistic, I know).

In the meantime, I've read plenty about Obama, mostly from people I admire greatly. My cousin Mary and today, Caroline Kennedy's Op Ed piece in the NY Times. I totally get the inspirational aspect of him, and when he first arrived on the scene I was very excited that he might be a dynamic solution for our country. I get a good sense of him as a person, I think he's smart and classy and honorable. But about a month ago I saw him on Russert and instead of being riveted by him, I was bored. I kept waiting for something, anything, to make me want to support him... and it just wasn't there. As I've said before, words like "hope" and "promise" worry me. I sort of equate them with "prayer". In my world, praying and hoping doesn't make anything happen. Action does.

Barack, I want to jump on your bandwagon. I want to be able to pull for someone who will make an historical difference for this country that so desperately needs leadership. And leadership that won't embarrass us as a nation like what we've had for the past eight years.

I still have a gnawing fear that the red states will not vote for either a woman or a black man. Regardless of what people would like to think, both racism and sexism are very much alive and well. One poll I saw this morning said that 54% of Americans are ready for neither a woman or black man to lead the country. That is both sad and frightening.

I have to vote in the NY Primary next week and I honestly don't know what the heck I'm going to do. Between now and then I'm going to read. A lot. I'm going to try and look past the likeability factor and figure out whom I really think can beat the pants off the Republicans (or heck, beat them by one vote if necessary).

Unfortunately the candidate that I really like the most, John Edwards, probably doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting the nom. But maybe whomever does get it will take him as a running mate.

Obama supporters: Convince me. Please.

"I'll Take Potpourri for $200, Alex!"

2008-01-26T13:36:00.000-05:00

It's been another wacky week, so rather than bore you to death with details I'll just post some random thoughts today:

1. I'm taking the online Jeopardy! test on Tuesday. Really psyched about that, although the chances of EVER winding up on the show are miniscule. And if I do wind up on the show, I have to hope there are no History or Bible categories.

2. Update on the bullying situation: Met with an attorney (he is just crazy enough to be a good lawyer when he's on your side. He's a civil rights guy who once worked for Gerry Spence. I don't need to say much more than that). Not sure what exactly he can do, but he connected very well to Lucas (he, too, lost his dad at a young age) and without taking any money from us wrote to the Youth Officer at school. A few hours later I got a call saying that a mini-bus will be sent to pick up and drop off Lucas in front of our door, starting next week. Coincidence? I don't think so.

3. Make Me a Supermodel on BRAVO is a much better show than America's Next Top Model. Way edgier.

4. Our living room is currently empty. We're getting a new sofa/loveseat/chaise sectional thing on Wednesday so we gave all of our current stuff away on Freecycle.

5. I love "The Biggest Loser", but the product placement is SO obnoxious that I start to feel as though I'm in The Truman Show.

Contestant:"I'm hungry all the time."
Trainer, holding up a pack of "Extra" gum: "Well, try chewing gum. MY FAVORITE IS EXTRA, BECAUSE THE FLAVOR LASTS A LONG LONG TIME. " (ok, that's not exactly what she said but it's close)

Argh! People are not stupid about this stuff anymore. They realize that with the rampant use of TiVO and DVRs, advertisers have to find ways to enter our psyches that we can't fast-forward through.

The most disheartening moment for me recently wasn't on The Biggest Loser, though. It was on the otherwise brilliant Ugly Betty. When Betty "offhandedly" mentioned that she couldn't wait to go see "27 Dresses" (moments after an actual commercial break for the same film), I nearly reached through the screen and grabbed her by her blue braces. I don't mind seeing Carrie Bradshaw at her Apple laptop, or seeing Wisk detergent on Tony Soprano's laundry room shelf. But the fourth wall is broken for me when characters start hawking product.

6. Water at the gym should cost either one dollar or two dollars. Not $1.50, which leaves me trying to figure out where to put the change while I work out.

7. Why is my dog shedding like it's June? There are tumbleweeds everywhere in this house, and hair all over our clothes. I'm afraid I'm going to be spray-painted by PETA the next time I walk out the door. "It's not a fur coat! I swear!"

8. Note to my daughter and my liberal cousins: I want to support Obama, I really really do. I don't love Hillary. I just want to make sure we beat the Reps in November, and that the new Prez can get the job done. He hasn't convinced me yet. But there's time.

9. My lease is up early next year on my RAV4 and I'm going to lease a Prius. The 2009 will have a plug-in option, upping the MPG to over 70 (or so they are saying).

10. At the end of February, my commute to work is going from 35 minutes to 1 hour and 20 minutes each way... without traffic. See item #9.

11. I paid $3.59 for a gallon of gas on Tuesday. See item #9.

12. The coolest new game for the Wii is called Endless Ocean. It's a scuba-diving adventure game and it's way cool. I may never get my TV back.

13. My four Netflix DVDs at the moment are: Superbad, The Lives of Others, The Magdalene Sisters and disc one of The Tudors. What should I watch first?

14. If I read another account of how Heath Ledger's masseuse didn't call 911 first when she found him, I'll spit. When my daughter had her first seizure at 13 months old, I was so scared that I was freaking out. She had had her MMR shot the week before, and I thought she was brain damaged from the vaccine. She was in a full "tonic-clonic" seizure and it wasn't stopping. The first person I called was my friend Susan who lived a few blocks away. I asked HER to call 911 for me because I knew I was too upset to speak clearly to them. This is one of those "walk in her shoes" moments. Unfortunately she is not only having to deal with the trauma of finding her client dead, but apparently is unlicensed and getting nailed for that.

15. And while we're on the subject of Heath Ledger, I want to clobber those stupid papparazzo who are sticking their flashing cameras in the faces of Michelle Williams and little Matilda. Having dealt with what she's going through, if I had the extra bonus of being stalked by idiots with cameras when Tony died, particularly when trying to help a young child through that, I don't know what I would have done. It's good to be a nobody.

R.I.P. Heath Ledger ... So Sad

2008-01-22T20:36:00.000-05:00

Got to the gym tonight at 5, turned on the TV and the "breaking news" was about Heath Ledger, found dead in his Soho apartment this afternoon. At 28. With a 2 year old daughter who will not remember him. Absolutely heartbreaking.

As a wee tribute, I thought I'd repost my mini-review of Brokeback Mountain. Original post date was 1/21/06... almost 2 years ago to the day. All of the original comments are intact.

--------------

Brokeback Mountain. Just got back from seeing it. What an amazing, amazing film. One of those that leaves you feeling like you did something very strenuous for three hours...I am drained. A must see and I wouldn't wait for the DVD. It's gorgeous on screen. (Although Anne Hathaway's lips and eyes nearly chew up every scene she's in. Yikes. She'll be perfect in "The Liza Minnelli Story".)

Anyway, Anne aside...(and she's quite good in her role, don't get me wrong)...it's a perfect piece of cinema.

Why I'm Choosing Hillary

2008-01-21T21:03:00.000-05:00

I like John Edwards, I really do. I just don't think he's going to be able to get the kind of support that will get him the nomination. I'm also thinking that his wife's illness may derail his campaign.

I liked Obama a lot at first, but the more I hear him speak (and I'm watching the debate right now) the less I believe he's capable of doing this job. Good guy, smart guy, might be right in a few years, but words like "hope" do nothing for me. It just all sounds like vaporware. There is no "hope". We need someone with specific ideas and the experience to implement them (as much as any president can).

Hillary probably isn't someone I'd love to have over for dinner. (Bill, on the other hand, I'd love to chit-chat with) But I honestly and truthfully feel she could hit the ground running and make shit happen. She's a doer. She takes no prisoners. She knows what she's talking about. And I think she could beat any of the Republicans.

The biggest reason, however, may be that all of her skeletons are completely out of the closet. Obama, not so much. I'm fearful that in October, the Karl Roves of the world will pull out some scandalous info about him (you know, like he has enjoyed a good BJ from time to time or something horrible like that). And as a result, we'll wind up with Reverend President Huckabee and all the non-Christians will be rounded up and forcibly baptized on Inauguration Day.

I know she can do the job. Let's hope that America's fear of strong women doesn't keep her from beating the old boys.

Catching Up

2008-01-19T15:55:00.001-05:00

So.... what the heck have I been doing the past two weeks instead of blogging?

~ Dealing with bullies. Do you know that if two 12 year old punks harass your child, throw him to the ground, put him in a choke hold and expose themselves to him and it's not on school grounds or on the school bus, there is nothing that can be done about it? They have to either turn 16 or they have to physically injure your kid to be charged with anything. This has been going on since August (at least) and I'm still trying to figure out how I can protect my son from these assholes and their asshole parents.

~ Working a lot. Had to host two women from Hamburg this past week who needed to learn about how we do what we do in our US office. Luckily they were really nice, but it's still tiring to spend every waking hour with people for a week, including lunches and dinners, and then deal with things like Item #1 when you get home. Anyway, I'll be doing the same to them in the Spring, if I can figure out an arrangement for Lucas while I'm gone. Have never been to Germany, so it might be nice!

~ Watching Project Runway, Make Me a Supermodel, The Biggest Loser Couples, and lots of other mindless stuff late at night.

~ Planning a trip to Florida via Maryland for President's Week.

~ Working out again. So cliché for January, but what can you do?

~ Seeing "Sweeney Todd". Johnny Depp was great, but as a huge fan of the original I think that Tim Burton overdid the blood. Unnecessary. And the Ballad of Sweeney Todd should have been used during the opening and closing credits!

~ Seeing "The Farnsworth Invention" on Broadway. Fascinating play, starring Hank Azaria, about the invention of television.

~ Watching "Who Killed the Electric Car?" on DVD. Don't miss it.

~ Watching "3:10 to Yuma" on DVD. Loved it.

~ Sending books to soldiers in Iraq via Books for Soldiers.

~ Becoming a Guitar Hero on the Wii. I am proud to say that I was the first in my house to beat the game (on Easy, but STILL!!!)

~ Thinking about a zillion things I want to write about here... need about a month off from work in order to do it!

What is the Opposite of Writer's Block?

2008-01-14T08:55:00.000-05:00

The reason I haven't written much over the past few weeks is because there is TOO much to write about, rather than not enough. I'm hoping to get some time to spill it all here, but until then...enjoy this comic book cover. I used to love "The Rifleman" as a kid. Apparently he loved us too!

What Primaries? What Golden Globes?

2008-01-10T12:32:00.000-05:00

You need to get out there and post your nominations for the 2008 Bloggies! Nomination ballots close on Friday!

Make some lucky blogger cry!

More Effective Than a Picket Line

2008-01-09T13:04:00.000-05:00

Support the WGA.... or you'll wind up with this:

Let's Du-et: Panthergirl's Entertainment Report

2008-01-04T07:41:00.000-05:00

In theaters:

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story is not for everyone. There were only four people in the theater when I saw it (including me and my equally-deranged movie partner). But all four of us were laughing until we cried. I loved films like Team America:World Police, The 40-Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up. I hate films like the various Adam Sandler messes, or the Rob Schneider collection. But this is smart, gross, patently offensive and reminiscent of films like Airplane!, more than Talledega Nights. John C. Reilly is a hugely talented actor with a theatrical voice that enables him to take Dewey through a musical evolution that a lesser actor could not have pulled off. The soundtrack contains a track called "Dear Mr. President" that was omitted from the film, but is possibly the best one on the CD. I think the film would have done better in the summer, but hopefully now that we're past the family-oriented Christmas week, twisted filmgoers like me will get out and see this one.

-------

Juno. Not good. Great. The first 20 minutes feel a little bit like a film that I'm too old to really enjoy. But stick with it, and this is a beautifully written "dramedy" where every time I thought I knew what was going to happen, I was wrong.

--------

On DVD:

Eastern Promises. For some reason, I bought the art-house hype of this film but knowing I probably wouldn't make it to the art-house, I stuck it on my Netflix queue when it came out, and sure enough it was available on DVD soon after. I love Naomi Watts, and The Painted Veil was one of my favorite films this past year. But this one was a big "eh" for me. If I ever mention wanting to see another David Cronenberg film, please kick me in the ribs and remind me that this film and A History of Violence were both a huge disappointment. If you have a burning desire to see Viggo Mortensen's junk, then by all means run out and rent this one. Otherwise, it's a predictable, formula gangster film with a few grossly ridiculous plot twists that almost make it feel like "Walk Hard: The Sonny Corleone story".

--------

On the other hand, The Namesake is a beautiful little film that follows a traditional Indian couple to the United States in the 1970s, and the tug-of-war between their deep cultural roots and the immersion into American ways... for them and for their children. The film spans decades and does it well. Spurred some interesting message board sparring on IMDB as well.

The Best 2007 Retrospective Yet

2008-01-02T23:48:00.000-05:00

From those brilliant JibJab boys:

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

VPI Comes Through Again.... NOT!

2007-12-30T09:28:00.000-05:00

Remember this post, entitled "Very Poor Insurance" about VPI aka Veterinary Pet Insurance?

Well.... I just got the "benefit check" (a greater oxymoron I can't think of at the moment) for Kelso's recent hospitalization. The total bill was about $3200. The "benefit" was $322. I kid you not. They paid TEN PERCENT of the bill.

So, for those of you wondering whether pet insurance is worth it, and I even get a discount on my premiums through my company, my answer would be a resounding NO. I'd be better off throwing $100 a month into a medical fund for Kelso and using that when he has vet bills.

I'll be cancelling my policy on the next business day.

Grrr.

Update: When I examined the EOB, it showed that the treatment for "soft tissue trauma" cost $2900 and change, and for that item I was reimbursed $95. Seriously. So I called VPI and she said that the description wasn't detailed enough and that the vet should fax all of the treatment records. If it shows that Kelso has "disc disease" they will pay more. How the hell is anyone supposed to know that?