Saturday, December 03, 2005

Doesn't He Know It's Christmas?

Just when I thought that "Butterfly Kisses" was the worst song ever written, leave it to Bob Carlisle (the wordsmith of that cloying tune), to come up with something even worse: "Christmas Shoes".

I heard it today in the dentist's waiting room. I'm convinced the dentist plays it so that anything he can do to you after that won't seem half bad. I won't torture you with ALL the words, but here's the refrain that had me alternately shaking my head and laughing my ass off:

" Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want it to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight"

WHAT??? I felt like Lucy from Peanuts, begging Schroeder to play "Jingle Bells". "You know, Santa Claus, and ho-ho-ho, and mistletoe... and presents for pretty girls... "

Merry, er I mean MOROSE Christmas to you, too, Bob.