Saturday, January 26, 2008

"I'll Take Potpourri for $200, Alex!"

It's been another wacky week, so rather than bore you to death with details I'll just post some random thoughts today:

1. I'm taking the online Jeopardy! test on Tuesday. Really psyched about that, although the chances of EVER winding up on the show are miniscule. And if I do wind up on the show, I have to hope there are no History or Bible categories.

2. Update on the bullying situation: Met with an attorney (he is just crazy enough to be a good lawyer when he's on your side. He's a civil rights guy who once worked for Gerry Spence. I don't need to say much more than that). Not sure what exactly he can do, but he connected very well to Lucas (he, too, lost his dad at a young age) and without taking any money from us wrote to the Youth Officer at school. A few hours later I got a call saying that a mini-bus will be sent to pick up and drop off Lucas in front of our door, starting next week. Coincidence? I don't think so.

3. Make Me a Supermodel on BRAVO is a much better show than America's Next Top Model. Way edgier.

4. Our living room is currently empty. We're getting a new sofa/loveseat/chaise sectional thing on Wednesday so we gave all of our current stuff away on Freecycle.

5. I love "The Biggest Loser", but the product placement is SO obnoxious that I start to feel as though I'm in The Truman Show.

Contestant:"I'm hungry all the time."
Trainer, holding up a pack of "Extra" gum: "Well, try chewing gum. MY FAVORITE IS EXTRA, BECAUSE THE FLAVOR LASTS A LONG LONG TIME. " (ok, that's not exactly what she said but it's close)

Argh! People are not stupid about this stuff anymore. They realize that with the rampant use of TiVO and DVRs, advertisers have to find ways to enter our psyches that we can't fast-forward through.

The most disheartening moment for me recently wasn't on The Biggest Loser, though. It was on the otherwise brilliant Ugly Betty. When Betty "offhandedly" mentioned that she couldn't wait to go see "27 Dresses" (moments after an actual commercial break for the same film), I nearly reached through the screen and grabbed her by her blue braces. I don't mind seeing Carrie Bradshaw at her Apple laptop, or seeing Wisk detergent on Tony Soprano's laundry room shelf. But the fourth wall is broken for me when characters start hawking product.

6. Water at the gym should cost either one dollar or two dollars. Not $1.50, which leaves me trying to figure out where to put the change while I work out.

7. Why is my dog shedding like it's June? There are tumbleweeds everywhere in this house, and hair all over our clothes. I'm afraid I'm going to be spray-painted by PETA the next time I walk out the door. "It's not a fur coat! I swear!"

8. Note to my daughter and my liberal cousins: I want to support Obama, I really really do. I don't love Hillary. I just want to make sure we beat the Reps in November, and that the new Prez can get the job done. He hasn't convinced me yet. But there's time.

9. My lease is up early next year on my RAV4 and I'm going to lease a Prius. The 2009 will have a plug-in option, upping the MPG to over 70 (or so they are saying).

10. At the end of February, my commute to work is going from 35 minutes to 1 hour and 20 minutes each way... without traffic. See item #9.

11. I paid $3.59 for a gallon of gas on Tuesday. See item #9.

12. The coolest new game for the Wii is called Endless Ocean. It's a scuba-diving adventure game and it's way cool. I may never get my TV back.

13. My four Netflix DVDs at the moment are: Superbad, The Lives of Others, The Magdalene Sisters and disc one of The Tudors. What should I watch first?

14. If I read another account of how Heath Ledger's masseuse didn't call 911 first when she found him, I'll spit. When my daughter had her first seizure at 13 months old, I was so scared that I was freaking out. She had had her MMR shot the week before, and I thought she was brain damaged from the vaccine. She was in a full "tonic-clonic" seizure and it wasn't stopping. The first person I called was my friend Susan who lived a few blocks away. I asked HER to call 911 for me because I knew I was too upset to speak clearly to them. This is one of those "walk in her shoes" moments. Unfortunately she is not only having to deal with the trauma of finding her client dead, but apparently is unlicensed and getting nailed for that.

15. And while we're on the subject of Heath Ledger, I want to clobber those stupid papparazzo who are sticking their flashing cameras in the faces of Michelle Williams and little Matilda. Having dealt with what she's going through, if I had the extra bonus of being stalked by idiots with cameras when Tony died, particularly when trying to help a young child through that, I don't know what I would have done. It's good to be a nobody.

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