As Promised...

Halloween '07...

Lucas as Groucho...



Kelso and me, as Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf (disguised as Grandma!) He's such a good sport.

Never Say Never

I'll upload some corresponding images as soon as Blogger fixes their stupid problem.

This month marks fifteen years since I started working at the company I'm at today. At that time, in 1992, if a psychic had told me the following things about my life in 2007, I would have said "You're out of your fucking mind" and sworn off psychics forever:



~ That I would be living anywhere but within the boundaries of New York City.

~ That I would be driving an SUV.

~ That my third marriage would have ended in divorce, and subsequently death.

~ That I would have had a second child.

~ That I would learn to play golf and love it.

~ That I would learn to knit and love it.

~ That things like TiVO, EZ Pass, HD TV, blogging, Netflix, iPods, wireless Surround Sound, a Blackberry with a Bluetooth headset, online banking, Facebook and iPhoto would become staples of my everyday life.

~ That I'd have to take off my shoes before getting on a flight because someone had flown planes into the World Trade Center and they fell down.

~ That my daughter would be living in Manhattan as the guest of her stepdad, my 2nd husband and going to art school.

~ That her dad and I would be on amicable terms.

~ That I would not yet have been to Italy or France.

~ That I would be taking a cocktail of anti-depressant/anti-anxiety/mood stabilizer drugs on a daily basis, most likely for the rest of my life.

~ That my child would be taking a cocktail of anti-ADHD/mood stabilizer drugs on a daily basis, most likely for the rest of his life.

~ That I would have eventually become a full-time employee, manager, and still be at that same company, fifteen years later.


So, in a shameless exhibition of comment whoring, what would have been the most surprising thing the psychic could have told you fifteen years ago, about your life today?

Photo Friday: Silence

The days following 9/11 brought a silence to NYC unlike anything I've ever experienced before. The skies were eerily quiet, and a pall settled over people that brought the normal buzz of day-to-day activity to a virtual halt.

Inside the Blogger's Studio

Fans of James Lipton's "Inside the Actor's Studio" on Bravo can now read about his adventures in interviewing in his new book:



I love the show, but what I love best are the ten questions that are posed to every guest. I thought it would be fun to answer them here, and to ask you to answer them too... either in my comments box or on your own blog (linking back here, of course!)


What is your favorite word?
Ricochet. When I hear that word, I actually SEE it bouncing from wall to wall.





What is your least favorite word?
Moist. EW.





What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
Traveling. Not getting there (unless it's in a car), but BEING in a new place is a total turn-on.






What turns you off?
Conservative politics. Ew. Moist.





What sound or noise do you love?
Thunderstorms. (Having been struck by lightning you'd think they'd scare me, but they don't. I still love them.)






What sound or noise do you hate?
Babies crying. (Can't blame this particular kid, though)





What is your favorite curse word?
Shit-hook. Best used to describe someone who is basically a dick (which would be my second favorite curse word).





What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Therapist. Although I'd have a hard time giving advice to shit-hooks. (See The Hand-Me-Down Shrink, my online advice blog. I think doing it for money would be more motivating.)



What profession would you not like to do?
Baseball stadium dugout cleaner. Self-explanatory.






If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Welcome to the Republican-free zone."

A Tough Time for Yankee Fans!

So sorry to see him go, but one cannot blame Joe Torre for rejecting the insulting offer from the Steinbrenners. Sadly, we'll probably lose Mariano and A-Rod as well. The Yankees won't be the same without Joe.

The only thing we've got left is seeing the Red Sox lose. Go Cleveland!

That Was The Week That Was

Age check: Remember that show? I didn't think so.

As previously noted, I spent six days down in Atlanta at my sister's place over the weekend, highlighted by the celebration of my mother's 85th birthday. I've written a lot of stuff about my mother and repeat them from time to time, but in a nutshell (no pun intended), we're very lucky that she's so damned healthy and independent, but she is truly a wackadoo. This is not due to age or senility, she was always off-plumb.

She's sort of a cross between Yogi Berra and Joan Crawford (we've referred to her as Margie Dearest). She's been known to comment that visiting Rome was less than thrilling because "It's so old." On this trip, she told us that a friend of hers had gone to Sicily. "I have no desire to go there. All they have is scenery."

In a moment of sheer brilliance on my part, I bought her a birthday card...one of those new ones that play actual songs. It had a picture of an old woman saying "As a matter of fact no, I'm not wearing any underwear", and when opened it played Rick James' "Superfreak". My mother had already changed into her nightgown when she opened it and started dropping the shoulder straps in a mock strip tease. (This prompted whispers of "Put it on! Put it on!" by us, the horrified on-lookers.)

It was great to see my sister, her boyfriend and my niece and nephews. Both of my kids were there too, so my mother got to see all of her grandchildren. Truth be told, she likes her crossword puzzles more than she likes them, but she muddled through.

This is her smiling:



My son is on the far right...my daughter is next to her. Ain't they cute? And my niece and nephews are adorable too.

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I think I've finally figured Ann Coulter out. She's actually a performance artist...this is all an Andy Kaufman-style comedy act. I hope.

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TiVO Gone Mad:

Of course, being away for six days meant marathon TV-catchup upon my return.



Private Practice is a crap show. I watched the pilot last year and was unimpressed, but I gave it a chance this year and made it through half an episode. What is with the soft focus on Taye Diggs? Does the guy have acne or something? Anyway, I'm done with it. I'll watch the clips on "The Soup" instead.

Ugly Betty is great again this year.

My jury is still out on Grey's Anatomy. First impression? Everyone except Katherine Heigl and Ellen Pompeo seems to be overacting. I'm imagining the director saying things like "Be a little more George! You know, halting speech and all?" "Patrick, hold that bedroom eye thing just one beat more!" "Chandra! Hit Justin FIVE times instead of four, ok?" And the writing seems forced. OK, I'll stop.

Really enjoying The Bachelor, America's Next Top Model, Survivor and Dancing With the Stars, but mostly because I've got a fantasy team on Fafarazzi. (You know, one of your cast members refers to an "alliance" and you get 10 points? That kind of thing.)

I like Dirty Sexy Money but have only seen the first episode. I've still got Pushing Daisies to watch before I am too far behind.

And I'm almost finished watching the Boston Legal Season 3 DVDs so I can start the new ones.

Right now, I'm seriously depressed and no longer wondering why my suitcase has yet to be unpacked even though I've been home since Tuesday. I need a doctor.

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Last but not least, one of the reasons I've been a bad blogger is Facebook. That's right, I've gotten sucked into the vortex that involves not just social networking but online Scrabble games, TV trivia (see previous mini-entry) and Zombie fights. Don't ask.

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And why didn't I do a Photo Friday post this week? Because the theme was "Real Life", and clearly... I don't have one!

Men in Tights

I've been out of town for a week in Atlanta, celebrating my mother's 85th birthday. More about that, and a few choice quotes, later. In the meantime, a Halloween season rerun.

As noted in an earlier post, my family had an almost disturbing obsession with Halloween when I was growing up. Everyone would dress up, including my grandparents (who usually wound up with the same look on their faces that a cat gets when you put a bonnet on him).



There was always a party, with PRESENTS! And Halloween games like ducking (dunking?) for apples... although I couldn't bear the thought of touching my face to the swirling saliva. "We're FAMILY!", they'd squeal. I never quite understood what difference that made.



The costumes were usually anything but politically correct. My father dressed as a "Chinaman", my sister as Aunt Jemima. My uncle was a laugh riot when he showed up as a blind beggar. And all the men wound up in drag at one point or another.






My array of costumes ranged from the Virgin Mary:



to a gypsy (dig the 60s "finished basement"):



to Ringo Starr (gotta love my mother as a pack of cigarettes):



Of course, a much as I mock this obsession, I've clearly inherited it. Here are a few recent examples of what I mean:

Lucas and Kelso last year:


Me as "Old Spice" a few seasons ago:


And I even had a costume WEDDING in 1989! Who am I kidding? I love this stuff.