Monday, May 09, 2005

Koo-koo-ka-choo



Maybe because yesterday was Mother's Day, or maybe because I'm thinking about turning 50 this year...whatever the reason, I thought I'd share this funny little story with you.

Seven years ago, when my daughter was turning 13, she threw a little birthday party for herself at our house. She invited about six kids...one of whom was another 13 year old that I'll call "Mike" (because that was his name). Now, in case you have not done the math, seven years ago I was 43.

Mike decided that he was in love with me. He followed me around the house, saying things like, " You are so hot...Do you think I'm hot? If you were my age would you have sex with me? Can I brush your hair?" At first I was moderately amused, and just told him to rejoin the party and stop being silly. He'd go away for awhile but then resurface in the kitchen or wherever I happened to be, to resume his litany of hormone-induced pleas. It was really pretty crazy.

His father came to pick him up and for a moment I thought about saying something. It just seemed so insane that I was actually embarrassed to say anything at all (what could I say? "Thanks for coming"?), so they left. Then the phone calls started. Emma would answer the phone and I'd hear her say, "No, my mother is NOT going to talk to you...stop saying that!" My husband was beyond annoyed.

I decided to call the guidance counselor at Emma's school, who was a guy I knew fairly well. I told him what had happened, and said that if this kid couldn't take no for an answer from ME, I was concerned about how girls his own age would fare against him and his mighty sword. The guidance counselor, although usually very helpful, couldn't stop laughing. He must have said something to Mike, however, because the calls stopped.

A few years later, I went to Emma's High School for a meeting. As I walked down the corridor, I passed a glass case which held a display of books recommended by students. There, right smack in the middle, was Mike's name tacked to the front of "The Summer of '42". I'll admit that it made me smile.