Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A Story About Wind

We're back from the Windy City, and have a ton of things to catch up on (work, life, bills, blogs) but I would like to share a little story with you. And it's no coincidence that the photo is of Lucas and "The Bean".

On our flight home, we were dismayed to see two women with infants boarding the plane and sitting right near us. I like babies alright, but I always prefer to sit in the "no baby zone" on an airplane. Luke and I gave each other a glance, shrugged our shoulders, and settled in...hoping that the babies wouldn't be much of an issue. Little did we know that seated directly behind me was a 25 year old woman-child who talked INCESSANTLY, the entire flight, to her seatmate, in that annoying volume usually reserved for cellphone users in line at the bank. When I say "incessantly", read: never coming up for air, not for a moment. I was sure I'd turn around to see the other woman bleeding from the ears. Even the occasional screaming baby didn't drown out this chick.

Lucas kept trying to catch her eye, but she refused to allow herself to be distracted for a moment.

Midway through the flight, I attempted to ignore her and do my NY Times Crossword puzzle while my son became more and more agitated by the whole thing. Suddenly, a distinctive odor wafted up my nostrils and I turned to him. "Oh no. Now one of the babies' diapers needs changing! Ugh!!"

He looked back at me and said in a hushed tone, "That's not a baby. That's me. You see, I'm FARTING so she'll have to hold her nose, and then will have to shut up! There's no way she can keep talking while holding her nose!"

Note to 11-year-old boys: Please consult parent before deploying creative schemes that involve noxious fumes.

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