Thursday, February 16, 2006

Olympics and the Perfect 10

I love watching the Olympics, particularly the Winter Games. Really I do. But am I the only one who finds it very curious that there are no elite athletes who look like this?

Seriously, how is it that the kick-ass skiiers, snowboarders, speedskaters and so on are all candidates for the covers of Playgirl or Maxim? Do looks play a role in who gets picked for the Olympic team? One has to wonder. Bode Miller is pretty damned cute, but he couldn't get both skis around the sticks? C'mon. And that downhill skiier chick? Cute as all get-out, but clumsy as a drunken teenager sneaking into the house at 5 AM (not that I know anything about that). The Chinese skater with bobble-head good looks went flying through the air with the greatest of ease...but then ker-plunk. (don't get me was amazing that she got back up and skated to a silver medal, but one has to wonder if the ugly girl who didn't make the team wouldn't have gotten it right.) Michelle Kwan: Gorgeous, but was confusing figure skating with skeleton. And do they get any cuter than Apollo Oh-No? Of course not. But we know what happened to him on Monday night. (ok, he's redeemed himself. But still.)

We have the "Special Olympics" for, well, "special" people. Until we have the "Homely Olympics", I'm afraid these games might wind up looking like the talent portion of a beauty pageant.

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